(no subject)

Jul. 31st, 2017 07:06 pm
valkryor: (Tail Eater)
Teeny tiny kitten eighteen years ago. Small and gray and the cloud in Emma's universe. Then, after Emma passed, she was still small and gray, but now the cloud in Franklin's universe. Franklin passed two-and-a-half years ago and then with Sheldon, who is quite a bit younger, she was the Grand Dame of the household.

That ended this afternoon at the vet's office.

Sheldon is alone.

I am going to miss my little gray kitten, who loved to snuggle under the blankets with me and sleep between our pillows. She adopted Franklin's unintentional shoulder parrot stance after Franklin was gone, and was very cranky whenever she was dislodged before she was ready to go. She would visit the complaints department (aka the bathroom) and yowl at her water for a little while. She definitely developed a lot of quirks as she got older, including mooching for food.

Drizzle was definitely MY cat. I was her person. She would sleep in other laps, sure, but it was mine that she wanted most. I am missing her fiercely already.

My sweet girl

Jul. 31st, 2017 12:16 pm
valkryor: (Tail Eater)
Drizzle is...not doing well. Her back legs are not working quite right and I don't think she's had anything to eat in a few days. She is 18, and still my little grey kitten. I am... devastated. I want her to live, I do, but I don't want this for her, either. We have a vet appointment later this afternoon.

I am fairly certain that she will not be coming home after.
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(no subject)

Jul. 28th, 2017 12:15 pm
valkryor: (Tail Eater)
I am no longer a fan of the end of July. Last night, I got hit by the doldrums something fierce. I don't like the doldrums; it's a combination of feeling adrift and restless, topped with a pinch of apathy.

But missing people fiercely, especially when it's one day after another, makes it hard to escape. It is, apparently, how I grieve, or at least a small part of how I grieve.

So, to Gus the Big Mean Bunny and to Shannon, I miss you and think about you often. I cannot believe how much time has passed by and how much this still hurts. My life was richer for having you in it, but I wanted more time, more growing old and growing up, more bad puns and more being your mom.

And more birthdays. So many more birthdays.

Two Movies

Jul. 11th, 2017 10:01 am
valkryor: (Default)
I went out to see two movies yesterday, at two separate theatres, which happens so rarely I can count the times that it has happened on one hand and still have fingers left over.

First up, we took Declan out to see Cars 3. If you completely ignore Cars 2 (or think of it as an unfortunate direct-to-video Mater movie), this is the actual sequel to Cars. It's funny and touching and FEELS like the first movie, which the second never did. And yes, at one point there were onion ninjas in the theatre. Declan flaps his arms when he gets super excited. There were a few points where I was convinced he was going to fly away he was flapping that hard and fast. Worth watching with, or without, kids in tow.

Later, I went out with [personal profile] clawfoot for Spider-Man: Homecoming. I wasn't expecting much, which is probably why I enjoyed it so damn much. The acting was superb and the casting was pretty much perfect. Tom Holland is spot on for Peter Parker, and Michael Keaton made the Vulture human. One other thing that I noticed was this: the cast was MIXED race. Not everyone who was named/part of the comic's rich and varied history was white. They found the best actors for the roles, skin colour be damned. It made me believe in Spider-Man's universe just a little bit more. It's also funny and heroic and the end-credit scene is probably my favourite of the lot thus far.

(no subject)

Jul. 4th, 2017 09:05 am
valkryor: (Default)
I got up and was in the process of pulling up the blinds when I noticed a bunny munching on some weeds in the shadow near the corner of the building. I tried to get Declan to look, but he's far too engrossed in watching videos online. So it was just me watching this little bun eat the leaves from weeds as fast as it could.

Moments later, I spied a chipmunk coming closer from the direction of the fence. This chippy, who was about a quarter of the bunny's size, startled the rabbit and then chased it away. Chipmunks are territorial little fuckers with lots of fear and none.

A little piece of the natural world in the heart of a city and my son missed all of it, choosing YouTube over wonder. *sigh*

UPDATE: After a brief power outage, I noticed that the bunny had come back. And yes, this time Declan got to see it. Apologies for the blur, the photo was taken through a window screen.

Bun!

Fuck Yeah!

Jul. 3rd, 2017 10:45 pm
valkryor: (Life Skill)
With the exception of some hand sewing and maybe going over some of the seams to make sure that they will survive the rigueurs of travel/every day use, [personal profile] shanmonster's waist bag is done. My hands do not like me at the moment, but they can suck it.

Some of it might be a bit wonky, because I am one person doing this for the first time and not someone behind an industrial machine doing this day in and day out. All of it is, however, functional. And better made than the original I was given for patterning.

After dinner tonight, I gave our waitress my business card, since she had remarked on the bag that I had made [personal profile] clawfoot some time ago. If nothing else, it gets my name out there.

(no subject)

Jun. 26th, 2017 02:14 pm
valkryor: (Sludge Lagoon)
Declan had his end-of-year field trip today and I volunteered to go with them. We walked to TheMuseum and back, which is 1.7 km one way, according to the Googs. That was...a lot of walking. And a lot of screaming. So many small children. Noise noise noise.

I had the option, after we got back, of taking Declan home or leaving him at school. No prizes for guessing that I am home and he is not. :)

Up next, some ibuprofen for my headache and maybe put my clothes back on (I stripped down to cool off because I was overheated) and possibly have a bit of a lie down. I don't really want a nap, but I could use the quiet and the horizontal.
About a month ago, Declan got a free admission for the circus from his school for donating to the Food Bank. I...did not want to go. I knew I would not really enjoy myself and that it would be very draining for me. And hey, look, I went, found most of it to be 'meh' and and now feeling like I've been kicked repeatedly by a mule.

Some of it, of course, was really good, but there was so much that was...there. And the prices of things? Yeesh. $5 for popcorn/cotton candy is a bit steep, and $10 for a pony ride is an obnoxious cash grab. They were also selling these light sabers swords that were essentially LED lights in plastic housing that flashed. There were so many in my peripheral vision that I could feel a headache coming on. And no, I didn't shell out $15 for Declan to bring one home. Two hours of other people's kids with them was plenty.

I was most impressed by the feats of strength and balance, but I would have to say that the contortionist was my favourite. A lot of the audience was unimpressed, but I have a better idea what it takes to be in a full bridge position and balancing on one foot than some. *shrugs*

And the seats? Too fucking narrow. It feels like my hips are bruised from the arm rests. Okay, yeah, I'm fat, but that was a fucking awful experience.

Declan did enjoy himself, so I guess that's the only thing that matters.

EDIT: I have a bruise, about the size of the armrest, on my right upper thigh/hip. My left side feels bruised, but nothing has come up. Note to self: avoid that place in future. The seats do not agree with you.
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(no subject)

May. 22nd, 2017 09:55 am
valkryor: (Default)
I am up and showered and dressed. The cats, kid, and myself are all fed. I have taken my meds and started my laundry and made tea. Laundry, I might add, I have been putting off for a few days. I still need to do physiNo, but that should be done in the next thirty minutes or so.

I am awake and productive and who the hell am I? This level of Getting Shit Done Early is doppelganger, pod person stuff.
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(no subject)

May. 14th, 2017 09:01 am
valkryor: (Default)
Happy Mother's Day!

May the younglings know appropriate boundaries and not wake you up talking about [insert game/toy/funny thing on YouTube here] when they SHOULD have done that yesterday. Not that I have any relevant or even recent experience in that. Nope, not me. *yawns*
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I am trying to overcome my own inertia. I don't know if it's depression-related apathy or the dreary weather or what. I have managed to get two loads of laundry mostly done. Now I need to fold it and put it away. AND I have done the majority of my physiNO. I keep adding to the work I have to do because I want my knee sorted, not because I've been tasked with doing it. I don't have another appointment for three weeks (it's how things shook out) and that's fine with me.

Declan has been insisting that he give me plants instead of cut flowers. A couple of weeks ago, it was daffodils. For Mother's Day, it's hydrangeas, which are lovely and blue. I must remember to call my own mom tomorrow before I leave for game and wish her a Happy Mother's Day. I don't bother asking what she wants anymore, because the answer is always nothing. Which is great for my wallet, but kind of hell on the guilt. :P

Now that the daffodils have finished, I need to figure out what to do with the bulbs. Maybe I will give my mom the daffodil bulbs so that she can plant them in her garden to come up next year. I don't want to throw them out, and I don't have a place to put them, so it seems like a logical solution.

(no subject)

May. 7th, 2017 08:35 pm
valkryor: (Default)
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is fun, which is all I wanted. It even passes the Bechdel test, if that is a thing that is important to you. I feel that it will also tie into Thor: Ragnarok, given the retro-feel of the title lettering for both movies. And if it doesn't? *shrugs*

If it does? Oh, joyous day! :D

Anyway. Right. Guardians Vol. 2. If you enjoyed the first one, you will enjoy this one. I was laugh-crying at one point because Baby Groot.
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(no subject)

May. 1st, 2017 09:05 am
valkryor: (Default)
This weekend, both of my D&D games happened. My Saturday night game, run by Dulthgaiea, started late and ended really late. There was a lot of rain and only one encounter. One encounter in which Murphy was sitting at the table and proudly rolling dice. There was comedy, sure, but it's the type of comedy where if you have to laugh, lest you fall in a pit of ennui and never come out again. Now Dulth and I get to sort this mess out between games just to keep things moving.

Yesterday was my 4e game. We got through TWO encounters! Two! Ooooo, exciting! ;)

(Mostly it was just the three of us catching up and kvetching for the first half, running through one relatively easy encounter, then lunch out, followed by blowing through a second. We went to South St Burger for lunch. It was...okay? I didn't find the burger patty particularly flavourful, although it was juicy. And why does everything have to be Angus beef these days? Was I expecting too much? I doubt I will go back because it was a 'premium' fast food place, and I have no desire to pay that much for something that I find to be meh.)

I FINALLY GOT TO SEE ROGUE ONE! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?! I greatly enjoyed it, loved the diverse cast, and the Star Wars easter eggs. I also think that it's my (current) favourite Star Wars film. The story is solid and that ending? Magnifique! If anyone needs me, I'll be over here, geeking out about how amazing it is.

And it's that time of year again; Jump Rope for Heart has rolled around again. Here is Declan's online donate link if you are so inclined: http://support.heartandstroke.ca/goto/bigsister

(no subject)

Apr. 23rd, 2017 08:54 am
valkryor: (Sludge Lagoon)
Family Easter today. Last week, we were at the in-laws. I really did not enjoy it. Everyone talks over every one else and I found it especially draining this time. So much so that I was still feeling the effects two days later. Paul's family is fine. They're good people, if a bit...conventional. It was more than I could handle and really needed quiet alone time with nothing more demanding than ambient, everyday home noises, like the ticking of clocks and the sound of traffic through open windows.

Today is my family which should be easier. I can always escape outside since the weather will be lovely. They already know I'm weird and a bit of a loner, so it won't seem odd or leave me feeling guilty when I need some breathing room. And I managed to get my brother-in-law's sewing mostly done (one small hand-stitched seam left), which is awesome, because it's his Christmas present from me to him. Making a gift of my labour and time is something I can get behind. It really takes the pressure off me and my (often) lack of available funds.

Oooo! I think I shall dig out a Christmas-appropriate gift bag and hand the sewing over that way. I'm fairly certain I have one (or a lot) that are big enough. :)

(no subject)

Feb. 27th, 2017 04:08 pm
valkryor: (Life Skill)
I spent a couple of hours working on shanmonster's coat today. Because it was all hand work, my eyes are a bit squiggy. Close focus, for the win!

It will, though, look fantastic when it's done. AND, dammit, I intend to have it done this week. Wednesday would be ideal (when I see her for dance class), but I will settle for before Sunday. Once it's done, I can start working on the gazillion other sewing projects I have been handed over the past couple of weeks.

And maybe, just maybe, I can start to work on the sewing I want to do for ME.

(no subject)

Feb. 18th, 2017 12:56 pm
valkryor: (Default)
I went out for a walk today because the weather is glorious. I made a point of walking past a house for sale in the area that's really kind of cute and I could see myself living there (35 Fairview Ave, Kitchener for the curious). However, I do not have $350k + to throw at such a worthy abode, so it remains merely a passing fancy and nothing more.

I had the hamsters running the wrong way on the wheel and chewing on the wires on Wednesday, which is all sorts of Not Fun. I am not a fan of making a decision, following through on said choice, and then overthinking it after. It's a recipe for a full blown panic attack, I swear. I was only anxious (only anxious, like that's any better) and it dissipated fairly quickly, but it left me exhausted and wrung out.

I'm in a pretty good mood today. The sun and walk have certainly helped, but some of it might also be the increase in dosage for my brain meds. It's too early to tell if it's actually helping, but the placebo effect is a powerful thing.

Right. Time to find lunch and then clean the apartment and make brownies for my game tonight. Whee!
Some stuff that has happened:

- the last full week of January was full of appointments, including a trip to Sick Kids to meet with the Nephrology team and some testing for Declan to determine what's up with his kidneys and the cysts.

- when I went in to find out WTF was up with my knee (possible patellofemoral syndrome, which is only 'cured' by eight weeks of physio), got the results of my blood work. It came back normal. You should really see my surprise face on that one. *rolls eyes* The urine test did come back positive for protein (joy) but it's not enough to be worrying. At least it's an easy test to repeat.

- Declan had no protein in his urine and his blood work came back as normal. So there is that.

- having your knee x-rayed is weird. The positions you have to keep it in is very unnatural. The highlight of the entire process? Connecting with another mother who was there with her son. We both agreed that shame was something for other people, especially after you've had someone fondling your cervix with others watching. Yay, childbirth.

- tried to call my shiny new(ish) psychiatrist, since I'm running low on meds. Hahahahaha, no. Apparently, I had a consultancy appointment, and don't actually have a psychiatrist. Cue lots of swearing and gnashing of teeth. Fine, thinks I, it's back to the doc for my meds and make the appointment, which is for this Friday.

- my games continue to truck along. I am finding that Thorn's voice is nearly silent in my head, but Amy's has gotten very loud. You'll have your time to shine, darlin'. But it's not yet.

- I am currently bashing my head against getting a data recovery program to actually work. It's my fault that the information is lost, but it shouldn't be THIS hard to get it back. I am frustrated and about this close to pitching my computer off the roof.

- small victory: picked up Declan from school AND took out the recycling without falling on my ass. It's been raining since this afternoon and freezing, so not slipping and sliding is worth noting.

(no subject)

Jan. 10th, 2017 11:43 am
valkryor: (Default)
I had a physical this morning.

Oh joyous day!

I was poked and prodded and bled and even got to pee into a little cup. I am the luckiest person on the planet! I even get to go back on Friday to discuss my right knee which has been giving me problems on and off for about three decades. Yay.

My blood pressure is 120/80 (textbook normal, yo), my height is 175 cm and my weight is 160 kg. That last one hurts a little bit. The nurse practitioner brought up BMI, but that's about the least useful metric there is to measure someone's health.

I suspect my blood work and urine sample will come back normal (they always do), as will my pap smear. And if they don't, I will deal with it. Worrying that something might be wrong is only going to make me anxious and I really don't enjoy having an 800-lb hamster sitting on my chest, thankyouverymuch.

(no subject)

Jan. 3rd, 2017 10:05 am
valkryor: (Default)
The worst part, I think, of being in a terrible headspace is the weirdly detached feeling of KNOWING that I am in a terrible headspace and why. It's like I am a puppet or written character or watching television; I have total control and yet none.

(So yes, I AM in a terrible headspace, why do you ask?)

The detachment is my logical brain, my medicated brain, keeping an eye on things. When I am feeling positive about whatever it is I'm feeling positive about, that part of my mind is quiet, or at least unobtrusive. When I am deeply unhappy? I notice it a lot more, and not in a corner-of-the-eye-blink-and-you'll-miss-it kind of way.

It doesn't make the mood worse, at least. Nor does it make it better. It's just there.

I don't even know if it's comforting or annoying, good or bad. Maybe it's the rope I need to haul myself out of the dark places my brain goes to because depression is awful, yo. Maybe it's a way for the knowing part of me (so often over-ridden by emotion when I slide down the spiral) to remind the believing part that the way out is through, thanks to better living through chemistry.

Or maybe, despite the mental illness, I have never been NORMAL. *snerk* Now that's something I could believe.
I was intrigued by the idea, but every recipe I could find was either A) Full of Meat or B) Not Terribly Interesting. So I put some things together and came up with a ridiculously tasty meal that was A) Tasty and B) Tasty.

Tasty Chili Cheesy Pasta

Ingredients:

  • 450g pasta (I used large shells and they were perfect. Scoobi Do would also be awesome.)
  • 1 796mL can diced tomatoes
  • 1 540mL can red kidney beans
  • 1 540mL can chickpeas (don't like chickpeas? Use black beans instead.)
  • 1 398mL can baked beans
  • 2 medium cooking onions, diced
  • 1 bell pepper (colour of your choice), chopped
  • 10 cremini mushrooms, sliced (Cremini mushrooms are baby portabellas.)
  • 4 cloves garlic
  • 2 tsp chili powder
  • 1 tsp thyme
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • grated cheese

1) Make pasta according to package directions.
2) While waiting for the water to boil/pasta to cook, sauté onions and mushrooms together.
3) Add garlic, spices, and bell pepper.
4) Drain and rinse kidney beans and chickpeas. Add to vegetables.
5) Mix in tomatoes and baked beans. Salt and pepper how you like (I do find that tinned tomatoes need a LOT of salt to balance the flavours) and let simmer together until the pasta's done.
5) Drain pasta and mix everything together in one big pot. Cover and let stand for 5-10 minutes.
6) Dish up and add cheese to everyone's portion.
7) EAT.

It's good and it's cheap AND it's meatless, which is awesome, since I didn't find the meal lacking in anyway. You can add cheese to the pot, put a lid on it, then serve it after the cheese is melty, but I did that last night and while it works for that night, it kind of sucks for leftovers.

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