(no subject)

Oct. 24th, 2005 07:13 am
valkryor: (Default)
The weekend was quiet. After being social every weekend since mid September, it was time to just hang out together and reconnect. We even (a little foolishly) ventured out to KW Surplus and Dollarama for some last minute Hallowe'en props yesterday. I still have to finish (start) sewing my costume, but it's mostly straight lines, so it shouldn't be too bad.

Being out of work, though, is becoming the sticking point. Okay, I left because it was better for my overall well-being and while I'm much happier, conviction alone doesn't pay the bills. If I don't find something soon, I don't know what we're going to do (and this town lacks a decent port so I can't blow sailors for spare change and bubble gum).

Financially, we're beyond up the creek and into "no map and no canoe" territory. I'm running out of time and options. Any suggestions? (No, I'm not kidding.)

(no subject)

Oct. 20th, 2005 03:50 pm
valkryor: (Default)
Sleep helped some, but not looking for work this morning helped even more. I know I should be looking everyday, but I couldn't face it today. I would like to keep what little self-esteem I have left, if it's all the same to you and not looking for work, while counterproductive in some ways, is the best thing in others.

And yes, those others do include cleaning. The bathroom no longer has that odd aroma to it that no airfreshener could touch (ew!). I even made the effort to throw the shower curtains and window covering (which is just another piece of shower curtain to keep the wooden frame and sill dry and mostly mold free) into the wash machine. Some laundry detergent, vinegar and the throw rugs (hey, they were dirty, too) meant my clear vinyl liner is back to being clear again. Now all I have to do is a quick sweep and I'm done. Yippee.

Oh, and since all the other cool kids are doing it...

Official NaNoWriMo 2005 Participant

(no subject)

Oct. 11th, 2005 11:32 am
valkryor: (Default)
Thanksgiving weekend involved way too much food. But at no point did I eat so much that I felt nauseous. See? Even I can learn.

I'm tired this morning. I'm all socialled out and need a few days of not going anywhere or seeing anybody to recentre myself. I am, though, back to looking for work. Holy jumping does it ever suck. I've applied to a few jobs this morning, including a couple that I had applied to previously, but I can't take months to look for something this time. Our finances will not hold (and for some reason, I can't win the lottery).

I did get a very nice surprise yesterday. Whilst at my mom's, she asked if I wanted my birthday/Christmas present. With my birthday being six weeks away from Christmas, I have never gotten a combined gift, but this year it happened. Not that I'm complaining. It's not everyday you get a brand new sewing machine with a 25 year parts warranty. When I find some time today, I'm going to sit and figure out how it goes. Then maybe I can start working on my costume and get that sorted before next week. It also means I should get my mom's old machine back to her as soon as I can. I just don't have the room to store it here.

(no subject)

Sep. 14th, 2005 10:01 am
valkryor: (Bite Me)
My stomach is in knots and I feel nauseous. Why? As soon as I'm done looking for work, I'm going to be emailing my old supervisor informing him that I am willing to go back on Monday.

I know I gave myself another week to find something that wasn't phone/people related, but I have to be an adult about this. There are just some things that you have to do, regardless of your own personal wants/desires. To be honest, it feels a little like I'm selling myself down the river, breaking that promise I made to myself to never go back, come hell or high water.

Unfortunately, when money (or lack thereof) is involved, personal needs no longer take precedence. It's not the right thing to do, I know that. But it is the responsible thing.
I still haven't found gainful employ. Damn. I can only give it one more week, though, because my bills won't pay themselves. The Evil Cable Company doesn't want me. Nobody else seems to want me. And I can't take four months to find work (it happened once, which is why I ended up counting other people's shit and wishing I was dead instead of on the road to OFS yet again). My choices are, unfortunately, very very limited. So, I'm left with this, it seems...get something else by the end of next week or it's back to the Hell that Goes Up.

I really really don't want to go back. But it looks like I won't have any other option.

(no subject)

Sep. 6th, 2005 11:03 am
valkryor: (Default)
I didn't look for work all last week (foolish me, I was expecting to get into the Evil Cable Company). I'm not even sure how many opportunities I missed. Oh well. Back at it today, I guess (even though I detest it).

(no subject)

Sep. 2nd, 2005 12:59 pm
valkryor: (Default)
I'm still not very motivated to look for work. Meh. Maybe I should just call this week a write off and leave it at that. Still no call from the Evil Cable Company, either. But, for some reason, this doesn't bother me as much as it should. I know I'm still unemployed with absolutely nothing coming in, but I'm healthy and I know that [livejournal.com profile] fuzzpsych loves me.

Am I happy, though?

No. Although there are glimmers of happiness, the wound is still too fresh and I spent a lot of yesterday weeping. I'm more emotionally stable, but it's tenuous, like ice on a pond in March...you just never know how thick it is until you try to stand on it. It's only been five weeks and the sting of the experience can be very strong sometimes.

We had an offer last night to go to [livejournal.com profile] meowster's cottage for the weekend. It would be nice to get away, and yet, after six weeks in Toronto on an emotional rollercoaster only to be suddenly thrown off, I'd rather stay home and coccoon. [livejournal.com profile] fuzzpsych wants to go and that's fine. He can. But I just don't feel up to it at the moment.

I've also been adding some new people to my flist. One ([livejournal.com profile] athena_51, a fellow graduate of the UW Classics Programme) added me and is a "friend of a friend" and two others ([livejournal.com profile] snowy_kathryn and [livejournal.com profile] zero_design), I had the pleasure of meeting at the last two goth nights at Ren and who just happen to be new to the area. So welcome to you all.

(no subject)

Sep. 1st, 2005 10:22 am
valkryor: (Default)
I just couldn't be bothered to look for work this past week. There's no guarantee that I'm going to get a call back on the phone monkey job for a face-to-face interview, either. Have I mentioned yet that I hate interviews?

Maybe I won the lottery last night...?


Back to looking again, methinks. But tomorrow. It can wait until then.

(no subject)

Aug. 29th, 2005 10:22 am
valkryor: (Default)
Meh. With an actual interview and a potential one tomorrow, I've decided that I'm not going to bother to look for work today. That said, I feel impending workhood closing in on me and the last thing I want to do right now is go back to work.

I should, though, try to do something constructive with my time (like start exercising regularly again) now that it seems to me that I'm coming to the end of it. Maybe I should write. Part of me wants to, but another just can't be bothered. I have ideas for new stuff (and too much unfinished), but that would take effort.

Must fight apathy. Oh, and laundry. It needs doing, too.

(no subject)

Aug. 25th, 2005 02:20 pm
valkryor: (Default)
I have another job interview next week for a Logistics Clerk position. Not my chosen career path, but an office job without having to deal with the general public? *swoon* I should, though, get around to the dishes some time today. Even though I would rather poke my eyes out with a couple of peronai. (Well, that was an Oedipal moment. Sophocles? Oedipus Tyrannos? The guy plucks his own eyes out? READ A BOOK!)

(no subject)

Aug. 19th, 2005 11:47 am
valkryor: (Default)
I was too apathetic to even post yesterday. My day consisted of going to a job interview that I didn't want to go to, having a bit of breakdown on the short walk back to the bus stop, considering posting the entire experience to LJ but just didn't care enough to do so (didn't look for work for the same reason), changing my clothes before crawling back into bed for a while, made dinner, finally had the dam burst on my sadness, then stayed up way past my bedtime chatting with a friend state-side.

I needed the chat more than I would have thought. As much as I love you all, it was nice having someone who knew what had happened but could keep objective about it (probably because we've never met in real life and probably never will).

I'm still feeling melancholy, but not as apathetic, which, as strange as this sounds, is a good trade. The only real worry now is not letting this turn into a crippling bout of self-loathing because of my shape/size. It's started to creep in yesterday, but I have to do my best to boot it out the door today.

(no subject)

Aug. 17th, 2005 05:44 pm
valkryor: (Default)
I finished touching up the walls. It wasn't really necessary, but the holes were pretty ghastly and it gave me something to do, so it's done. I also finally got around to fixing one of the drawers in the kitchen. I had previous tried to affix the front to the side with duct tape, but it wasn't a great solution. However, a couple of screws later and the drawer front no longer threatens to come off everytime you pull on the handle.

I also have another job interview tomorrow (last Saturday, I went in for an interview doing part-time retail). Part of me doesn't even want to go. But I have to. I must. As much as it might be useful in the long run, I can't be overcome with apathy right now and do nothing because the feeling of "nothing matters" is starting to creep over me. I have to go back to work. I can't live on air and I can't expect [livejournal.com profile] fuzzpsych to support me. It's not fair of me to assume that he will.

(no subject)

Aug. 16th, 2005 02:58 pm
valkryor: (Default)
I feel so incredibly lazy. I should be looking for work...oh, wait a minute, I already did that this morning. It hasn't hit the stressful point yet where not having a paycheque means not paying bills, but it feels very decadent to have all this free time for me.

Now don't get me wrong, I've gotten stuff done like finished off the thank you notes from the funeral donations and prepped/primed the walls in the living room for some touch up painting. It just seems, though, like I'm not doing enough with my time, that I should be out there pounding the pavement looking for something that I know I'll despise because it puts money in the bank.

I guess what it boils down to is a little bit of a guilty feeling because it seems I'm being slothful while [livejournal.com profile] fuzzpsych is slogging away at the Hell that Goes Up. I could go back, if I wanted, but I just can't.
This is the first time in four days that I've looked for another job. I figured with today being Monday (Job Bank) and missing the Saturday paper (workopolis.com) there would be lots to apply to.

Imagine my surprise when there is not one that I would consider. Qualifications/desire aside, I don't get it.

Ah, well. I have lots to do today. But still...nothing?

(no subject)

Aug. 11th, 2005 12:22 pm
valkryor: (Default)
I found absolutely nothing today.

The pickings were pretty slim at the Job Bank, but when I checked workopolis.com, I had a very nasty shock. When I check the listings at workopolis, I click the little box that says "Employer Ads Only". Today, that meant there were only 11 jobs (and nothing that I wanted to apply for). So, to compare, I clicked the "Staffing Agency Ads Only" button and searched again. There were 112 jobs listed.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.

I don't want to deal with a staffing agency. It looks to me like the company that is dealing with them to do their hiring is too bloody lazy to do it themselves. And I've heard enough horror stories about agencies that screw over the clients in terms of pay and seniority to be not only wary but also completely turned off by the idea of them.

I agree that they're good for temp work, though. And in that they serve a purpose. But for anything permanent, I smell a scam put forth by both that agency and the company using them.

(no subject)

Aug. 10th, 2005 11:26 am
valkryor: (Default)
My morning glories have suffered a lot of neglect this year. And since I forgot to mention that they would need regular watering to those who were housesitting, the blame falls upon my shoulders. That said, I noticed last night that one of the vines had a bud on it. This morning, I saw not one, but *two* opened blooms. Why am I making a big deal about this? This is the first time it has bloomed this year. So here's hoping that it continues for the rest of the summer and into autumn.

I didn't apply to anything yesterday. Whoops. I will have to make up for it today and apply to the three that I never got around to yesterday along with any I find of interest today. If I don't have any nibbles by the end of next week, I'm going to ship my resumé off to someone I know at Rogers. I really don't want to go back to being a phone monkey, but right now, getting back to earning a living is far more important than living on nothing. It's not a great plan, but it still beats going back to the Hell that Goes Up.

And another thing about yesterday...I managed to indulge my need for retail therapy and spend less than $10! At Valu Village (where I never find any clothes in my size), I found two t-shirts in near new condition in colours that I will actually wear. w00t!

(no subject)

Aug. 8th, 2005 04:46 pm
valkryor: (Default)
I actually got some stuff done today. I updated my resumé and applied for no less than seven jobs (!). I hate hate hate cover letters, though. They're little more than contrived pieces of tripe. But I wrote one. Only because it was required. Here's hoping, at least. Working at KWAG would be better than back to the Hell that Goes Up.

I also am doing something a little different this time around. I'm actually keeping track (in a separate notebook) of all the jobs I apply to and any relevant information like hours mentioned or name of contact or position applied to. You'd have thought I would have done this sooner, but no. In this case, I am a very slow learner. :P

Oh, and on top of feeling accomplished, I can wear sandals again! That bruise (or whatever it was causing me pain) is finally dimished enough that it no longer bothers me to have pressure put on that one spot just above and to the left of the ankle bone on my right foot. w00t! No more socks for me until it gets cold again. :)

(no subject)

Aug. 7th, 2005 10:03 am
valkryor: (Default)
I've had lots of energy and ambition to get something done the last couple of days. It's most likely just a natural reaction from sitting around for six weeks in TO and being at home with the baby for seven months before that.

So today is a good day to dust off and update my resume. Then I'm going to attempt to write a half-way decent cover letter for possible future employ. Before that, though, I'm going to get washed and dressed and get down to Sobeys and buy a paper. Want ads are a lot easier to peruse in written form.

(no subject)

Jul. 31st, 2005 08:16 am
valkryor: (Default)
I slept really poorly last night. One of the cats (probably Franklin) was sick last night and after that woke me up, it took me an hour to get back to sleep. I wasn't even thinking of anything at all. My mind these days is pretty scattered. Some might even mistake it for flakiness. I guess I just have way too much going on right now.

We still have to call EI and tell them what happened. Which means that we're both cut off. I was mistaken when I thought that I had a few weeks before having to go back to work. Turns out, I was dead wrong...that was a pretty nasty shock.

After the funeral stuff is done, we have to find new jobs and do some serious looking for a new place. Any one of these things would be plenty on either of our plates, but all three right on top of each other for both of us is a bit much.

I don't even know if I'll be able to face the working world again. I dunno. Maybe I should. But I know that I don't want to work in anything remotely resembling the service industry. Customer Service is no longer part of my job hunting vocabulary.

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