(no subject)

Aug. 19th, 2005 11:47 am
valkryor: (Default)
I was too apathetic to even post yesterday. My day consisted of going to a job interview that I didn't want to go to, having a bit of breakdown on the short walk back to the bus stop, considering posting the entire experience to LJ but just didn't care enough to do so (didn't look for work for the same reason), changing my clothes before crawling back into bed for a while, made dinner, finally had the dam burst on my sadness, then stayed up way past my bedtime chatting with a friend state-side.

I needed the chat more than I would have thought. As much as I love you all, it was nice having someone who knew what had happened but could keep objective about it (probably because we've never met in real life and probably never will).

I'm still feeling melancholy, but not as apathetic, which, as strange as this sounds, is a good trade. The only real worry now is not letting this turn into a crippling bout of self-loathing because of my shape/size. It's started to creep in yesterday, but I have to do my best to boot it out the door today.

(no subject)

Jun. 18th, 2005 08:57 pm
valkryor: (Default)
I feel better today. I dunno. I guess I just needed to get the ick out by letting others know that I was feeling bad.

Thank you to [livejournal.com profile] clawfoot, [livejournal.com profile] lovecraftienne, [livejournal.com profile] the_daily_rant, [livejournal.com profile] robertom for the kind words, and also to [livejournal.com profile] joncanuck and [livejournal.com profile] meowster for being on Messenger when I needed someone to be there. Damned near everything about this entire experience is a great big bowl of ass sucking cherry pits and being in limbo only emphasizes the bad bits.

So. Um. Yeah. Thanks and all that. :)

I'm so stressed out my eczema is coming back on my left pinkie. Just what I need. :P

And until the wee one is in hospital, no movies for us. Sorry about that, [livejournal.com profile] clawfoot. :( But if you want to stop by and hang out or something, that can happen. Just give us a call.

In other (and probably more important) news, Shannon rolled over for the first time yesterday. It seems like she's late, but if she's anything like my sister, she's doing things in her own sweet time. :)
Thank you to all of those who had said that they would miss my posts and that I actually had something worth reading.

I wasn't boring, but just fucking bored. I felt uninteresting because I have spent the last little while living from tending to the baby to tending to the baby (feeding, diaper changes, cuddles, etc etc etc), going nowhere in particular (running out and picking up milk doesn't count as going somewhere) and doing nothing special. It was really starting to wear me down and I managed to convince myself that I was really a boring person with nothing of importance to say.

But the difference between boring and bored is something can be done about the bored, but the boring is ingrained and only really curable with shock treatment. Lots and lots of shock treatment...

So, I've been trying to find ways to be less bored, mostly so I don't go completely mad and convince myself that I really belong in Botswana living in a hut somewhere.

[livejournal.com profile] joncanuck and the ever-lovely [livejournal.com profile] the_daily_rant stopped by a couple of nights ago and hung out. It was truly what I needed. So thank you. :)

And the night before that, shock and amazement, Molly stopped by on her way home from school completely out of the blue! So now I'm playing an online Scrabble game against her and losing horribly. But that's what I figured would happen, so I'm just enjoying playing, because there's no point in getting upset. Soon, though, we should have her over for a game of Super Scrabble (twice the tiles, twice the board and quadruple scores!), just to reconnect.

I finally got around to doing some writing again last night. I hadn't looked at my latest novel since February! and it was time to pick up the thread again. I'm writing the end of it now, mostly because that's what I've been thinking about and if things are explained to the reader (and also to the writer..:P), then hopefully the other segments will come together a lot easier.

I found a house that was feasible for us to acquire. It's on Strange St, right at Park. It's small, and cute in a butt-ugly way, but financially within reach. You can look for yourselves here or here. I'm probably setting myself up to be crushed, but we really really have to move. And soon.

And I don't have to go back to therapy! Yay! I was finding that it really wasn't doing anything and since my life has gone back to a mostly even-keeled status, we're just wasting each other's time. I can call her, though, if I need to in future. So, I still have that as an option should I need it.

(EDIT: As an aside, for some reason, I prefer sex in the morning. Maybe because it's such an incredible way to kick start the day. But if I can get it in the afternoon, boy howdy! you'd better believe that I'll take it. And when it was offered earlier, how could I say no?)

So that is what you've been missing. It's still not terribly interesting, but since you want to read it, there it is...

Inner Dialogue

Feb. 8th, 2005 08:04 pm
valkryor: (Default)
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