(no subject)

Jan. 10th, 2017 11:43 am
valkryor: (Default)
I had a physical this morning.

Oh joyous day!

I was poked and prodded and bled and even got to pee into a little cup. I am the luckiest person on the planet! I even get to go back on Friday to discuss my right knee which has been giving me problems on and off for about three decades. Yay.

My blood pressure is 120/80 (textbook normal, yo), my height is 175 cm and my weight is 160 kg. That last one hurts a little bit. The nurse practitioner brought up BMI, but that's about the least useful metric there is to measure someone's health.

I suspect my blood work and urine sample will come back normal (they always do), as will my pap smear. And if they don't, I will deal with it. Worrying that something might be wrong is only going to make me anxious and I really don't enjoy having an 800-lb hamster sitting on my chest, thankyouverymuch.

(no subject)

Oct. 27th, 2005 05:38 pm
valkryor: (Default)
I'm feeling better. I had a cry, some food and some exercise. I even got my laundry done. It's not much, I know, but I'll take a feeling of accomplishment over worthlessness any day.

(no subject)

Sep. 25th, 2005 10:59 pm
valkryor: (Default)
Bedtime, soon, methinks. I spent the evening with [livejournal.com profile] clawfoot, eating burgers and junk food and watching Black Hawk Down (plus American Dad on Global, as it just happened to be on television once the DVD player was turned off..it was amusing, however). It's odd. After two weeks of not eating crap, I feel slow and sluggish now. I guess I did before, but never noticed. If eating too many potato chips and having an ice cream bar and drinking one can of gingerale makes me feel like this, then it's time to stop. I haven't really missed it up until this point (well, except for ice cream...I can eat that stuff for breakfast and have done on occasion), so it will be good to just keep it up as a rare treat and not buy stuff like that every time we do groceries.

Bed time now. Work tomorrow. I need to get quarters and bus tickets and I have to get the bedding washed sometime this week and still finish my costume. Busy week ahead. Busy busy week. I should get some sleep if I'm going to tackle it.

(no subject)

Sep. 11th, 2005 03:46 pm
valkryor: (Default)
I'm so sleepy right now. There's still housework left to do yet today and neither of us wants to do anything ([livejournal.com profile] fuzzpsych is napping on the couch while I type this) about it.

The weekend, though, has been good. Very social, though, and it looks like this is a trend that will probably carry on through to Christmas. Not that I mind seeing my friends, but after a while, I like spending entire days with my significant other without having to go anywhere.

Friday night was [livejournal.com profile] lovecraftienne's Muffing Day party. Much fun, conversation and lechery were had by all who attended. I drank some Black Bush scotch neat...[livejournal.com profile] fuzzpsych's jaw hit the floor on that one. :) It was good alkeyhall and I likes it, but it might have been a bit smoother with some ice.

Yesterday was not one, but two separate gatherings in Woodstock of all places. My brother-in-law invited us and a gaggle of cousins over for burgers and such. I should have brought something, but I didn't think of it until too late. Oops. It was okay, but I don't really know the cousins because I've only met them all of three times. Some of them are only 5 years younger than me, but we have nothing in common, especially since I'm not much of a drinker and I don't like beer as a rule. For part of it, I felt very alone and out of my element. Add to that some body issues (two of them have had kids and you'd never know...all of the women there were unbelievably skinny) and I was very tempted to haul off somewhere else and read. I wasn't excluded, by any stretch, but I felt like a fat lump with nothing to offer.

We left just before 8 and went across town for tea and mildly inappropriate conversation with Jocasta, a friend [livejournal.com profile] robigus and I met in senior greek. I needed the contrast, I think. And it was nice to have someone who got my references without having to explain them. I must go back again soon, next time with [livejournal.com profile] robigus, so we can cackle like a trio of witches over something only considered moderately amusing by someone else.

Today has been very relaxing. Breakfast at Ethel's, followed by a long and winding route home. It's a gorgeous day and it was a good walk back. We stopped at a brand new dollar store (Dollar Fusion, corner of King N and Young) along the way. It's pretty darned good. We picked up a few things we needed as we poked around. I noticed that they had canvas bracelets in a punk style (metal studs and snaps). They didn't fit, sadly, but if you're looking for that sort of thing and don't want (p)leather, you can go there. We even walked past a house and had quick look around the property. It only made us want it more. Now if only we had money.

(no subject)

Aug. 19th, 2005 11:47 am
valkryor: (Default)
I was too apathetic to even post yesterday. My day consisted of going to a job interview that I didn't want to go to, having a bit of breakdown on the short walk back to the bus stop, considering posting the entire experience to LJ but just didn't care enough to do so (didn't look for work for the same reason), changing my clothes before crawling back into bed for a while, made dinner, finally had the dam burst on my sadness, then stayed up way past my bedtime chatting with a friend state-side.

I needed the chat more than I would have thought. As much as I love you all, it was nice having someone who knew what had happened but could keep objective about it (probably because we've never met in real life and probably never will).

I'm still feeling melancholy, but not as apathetic, which, as strange as this sounds, is a good trade. The only real worry now is not letting this turn into a crippling bout of self-loathing because of my shape/size. It's started to creep in yesterday, but I have to do my best to boot it out the door today.

(no subject)

May. 18th, 2005 08:23 pm
valkryor: (Default)
Like a good girl, I did my hour's worth of yoga. So now I feel all loose and rubbery except for my hips, which are sore. Not surprising, really. Arthritis in the hips runs in the family. At least I come by it honestly. :P

Now to munch on some veggies and crackers and maybe read some more (since the baby's asleep).

(no subject)

May. 16th, 2005 10:06 am
valkryor: (Default)
I think I'm going to give yoga a miss today. Mostly on account of I really need to do laundry today and that's going to take all day. My breakfast is almost done (peanut butter toast and cottage cheese loaded with kiwi and some honey) and after that, laundry. Fun, wow.

(no subject)

May. 13th, 2005 08:35 pm
valkryor: (Default)
It's amazing what The Faint and thirty minutes of physical activity can do.

I'm all hot and sweaty and I feel damned good.

(I only wish I was all hot and sweaty because [livejournal.com profile] fuzzpsych was home.)

(no subject)

May. 13th, 2005 09:11 am
valkryor: (Default)
Part of me wants to sabotage my entire exercise plan. Why? Because it's a damn sight easier to be out of shape and unhappy about it than work towards something that would make me happier.

It's an incredibly defeatist view, and it would be so easy to just give in (and give up). I still have clothes that fit (even if I don't like the way that they do fit), so why should I care?

Apathy is a dangerous thing. Too much of it, and I may as well not get out of bed at all.

But I cannot succumb. I will not.

I keep telling myself this, too. And the lure of giving in is still lurking, waiting to strike.

The new Nine Inch Nails single "Hand that Feeds" has a line that I find extremely inspiring: "Do you want to change it". Everytime I hear it, I scream "yes!" in my head but I get trapped by my inability to conquer my apathy.

If I could get [livejournal.com profile] fuzzpsych interested and involved, that would help me out a great deal. But he's not fond of walks without a destination and I'm too self-conscious to dance with him (even in our own livingroom).

Bah! I quit.

(No, not really, but it felt good to say. I'll keep soldiering on as best I can.)

(no subject)

May. 9th, 2005 09:27 am
valkryor: (Default)
Notes to Self:

-Natural peanut butter is perfect for nanaimo bars. It helps to cut the cloying sweetness of all that icing sugar.

-Must do yoga tonight. I've been lax about keeping up with my exercise routine (keeping up, that's funny...I can even get it *established*!) and I need to stick with it.

-Hmmm. Should get stuff together to finish the Super Secret LARP Project. I still have time before the next game, but I don't want to be rushing around 5 minutes before I have to leave trying to get it done.

-Open the rest of the windows. For some reason that I cannot fathom, someone has turned the furnace on (?) and it's bloody hot in here already. I'm contemplating sabotaging the switch so it can't be turned on again once it's off until the switch is fixed. Problem: I'm not comfortable enough fooling around with it. Damn. It seems like the only real way to get the furnace to stay off.

-Bathe the baby at some point today. She's due.

-If possible, clip the cats' claws. I just had a gander at Franklin's and they're a bit on the long side.

Wow. That's quite a list. I should get right on that, then. :)

(no subject)

May. 5th, 2005 11:03 am
valkryor: (Default)
Yoga in the morning is definitely much easier. I did that this morning instead of last night, and it fits into everyone's routine without any fuss. I am pleased.

Today, I think, it will be time to replace the bake element (turns out, one of the wires got a little bit caught. Tugging a wee bit harder loosened it just enough so I could get it to come forward). And now that the oven is a heck of a lot cleaner than it was this time yesterday (Easy-Off is a godsend when you let it sit overnight), I can go back to baking obscenely diet-blowing goodies. :)

(no subject)

May. 3rd, 2005 05:58 pm
valkryor: (Default)
We have a new window now, which is good. It's so clean I keep checking to make sure that it's still there...:)

What isn't so good right now is the oven. The bottom element is no longer working, so no baking for me until either it or the entire stove is replaced. The last thing we can afford right now is a new-to-us stove, but it seems that everytime something goes right, something else goes very wrong.

And now the neighbours downstairs are playing Counting Crows, which means they're home and trying to play something on the stereo so I can dance is going to be impossible (a portable unit isn't really an option because I need to hear the baby). Fuck.
Well, I was going to do yoga tonight, to make up for the fact that last night I was too hungry and opted to eat something instead. But I don't want to. Not after dancing around the livingroom for 35 or so minutes.

Dance?!? Me?

Yes. Me. Only when I'm alone and no one can see me (Shannon doesn't count), then I feel comfortable enough to dance.

And I bet you're all dying to know the reason.

"The Hand that Feeds" by Nine Inch Nails.


It's simple, really. I was flipping channels and caught the last half of the video on MuchLoud. It inspired me to get up and get moving to the Faint. Why the Faint? They are completely different entities, but for some reason, the new NiN single reminds of the essence of "Wet From Birth", and no, I can't explain it better than that.

So I put on the Faint at a very reasonable volume (I didn't want to be drowned out by the Counting Crows or John Denver coming up through the floor) and danced.

I feel pretty good right now. But I'm also trying to not focus on the icky feeling that came from how much of me was jiggling. I just have to keep reminding myself that the more I dance, the less jiggle, until, eventually, it's all gone.

Okay. So I'm going to need all of your support and encouragement on this. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays are yoga. Tuesdays and Thursdays are goofy looking dancing in my livingroom (by myself, thank you very much. I'm not throwing parties twice a week). With as much walking as I can get in.

Now, do any of you want to work with me as part of a support network to reduce the jiggle in my step?
I finished doing a fairly simple yoga routine with lots of standing poses (I really really love standing poses...tadasana [sp?] or mountain pose is probably my favourite). That said, I discovered two things that are a major hindrance to not only this specific routine, but yoga in general.

Thing the First:
It's very very hard to do a workout that's supposed to relax and rejuvenate you when the baby's being cranky for no reason.

I had to put Tabula in the other room because I started shouting at her. She was really getting on my nerves, but once she was in the other room, she stopped being fussy. :P

Thing the Second:
This apartment is not set up for yoga. Period.

Part of this is the @#$%ing coffee table. The coffee table either needs wheels or a sledgehammer, I can't tell which. Now, just so you all know, the coffee table was a Christmas gift made for us years back by [livejournal.com profile] fuzzpsych's father. It's sturdy, it's heavy and it catches on the rug everytime it's moved more than a couple of inches. To make matters worse, it has to be moved mostly off the rug so that there's enough space. It goes off easy enough, but it needs two people to get it back in place without a lot of swearing. It's on my "replace" list for this reason alone. It's a good piece of furniture, but it's become...aggravating.

For this routine, you need wall space for two of the poses. The only "wall" space available (for the most part) is a closed door. Which is neither practical nor efficient to the workout. So that means that there are two poses that I just simply cannot do, which is a shame, because they look like really good stretches.

So that's what I was doing about an hour or so ago. Sounds like fun, don't it?

who cares

Apr. 5th, 2005 09:17 pm
valkryor: (Default)
I have this pattern where I get really upset about how I look, about my size and that I'm completely unappealing (it leans towards the "too hideous to look at" category, which is lightyears beyond being sexually appealing). Then [livejournal.com profile] fuzzpsych will tell me that he loves me and still finds me attractive, which can be one of a few ego boosts depending on how low I feel. Eventually my self-esteem gets enough reassurance for me to get on with things until the next low point.

I'd rather do nothing about it and know the results than do something and get no results at all. Sounds really stupid, I know, but I like the safe and predictable, which also makes me a very boring person in all aspects.

I don't bother because nothing will change. Not really. I'll still go through this cycle and in the end, the low self-image and the non-existant self-worth along with the trying-to-be-interesting-and-failing-miserably me will still be there, regardless of my physical size.

(no subject)

Apr. 1st, 2005 09:12 am
valkryor: (Default)
Yesterday, for the first time in a long time, I felt alive.

The weather was gorgeous (and it looks like another close repeat), and I was out and about in sandals (!), breathing in the smell of earth and feeling more than I was just existing or getting by.

It was a good day for me, but not that much for [livejournal.com profile] fuzzpsych, who is coming down with a nasty cold. So one of my outings was a trip for medication and the ingredients for chicken and rice soup (which was a tasty dinner last night).

And now that I'm paying more attention to my level of physical exercise, why is it when I think to myself "today, I'm going to be a sloth", I end up getting more exercise than usual?
After doing about an hour's worth of yoga yesterday morning and a walk in the afternoon, I decided that today, I wasn't going to exercise.

So I did laundry instead.

And that means going up and down the stairs numerous times, hauling baskets of clothes or bedding, clean or unwashed.

But that's not exercise.

How can it be when I hardly stopped moving all day?!?

They really need to reassess the whole "30 minutes of physical activity a day" to include housework. It usually doesn't, but it should. I'm tired already and I know I'm going to sleep well tonight on freshly laundered sheets under freshly laundered blankets. *yawn*

(no subject)

Mar. 29th, 2005 08:04 pm
valkryor: (Default)
The old adage is "learn something new everyday". On somedays, you learn nothing, while on others, new information that appeals to you seems boundless. Well, over the last two days, I've learned exactly two things.

Yesterday, I learned that it was important to centre the baby's bum on the diaper before doing up the tabs. This will prevent messy poopie accidents.

Today, I learned that I am woefully out of shape. Hopefully, in future, I won't be out of breath doing yoga. :P

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