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(no subject)
I am no longer a fan of the end of July. Last night, I got hit by the doldrums something fierce. I don't like the doldrums; it's a combination of feeling adrift and restless, topped with a pinch of apathy.
But missing people fiercely, especially when it's one day after another, makes it hard to escape. It is, apparently, how I grieve, or at least a small part of how I grieve.
So, to Gus the Big Mean Bunny and to Shannon, I miss you and think about you often. I cannot believe how much time has passed by and how much this still hurts. My life was richer for having you in it, but I wanted more time, more growing old and growing up, more bad puns and more being your mom.
And more birthdays. So many more birthdays.
But missing people fiercely, especially when it's one day after another, makes it hard to escape. It is, apparently, how I grieve, or at least a small part of how I grieve.
So, to Gus the Big Mean Bunny and to Shannon, I miss you and think about you often. I cannot believe how much time has passed by and how much this still hurts. My life was richer for having you in it, but I wanted more time, more growing old and growing up, more bad puns and more being your mom.
And more birthdays. So many more birthdays.
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It's important to recognize how you grieve, and give yourself the space to do so.
Thank you for sharing the remembrance of the day. I'm listening.
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I really hope you're being gentle with yourself. That edge of restlessness and feeling adrift can make it really hard, but I hope you find a way. Big hugs to you.
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