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True to form, my second shot manifested in some spectacular anxiety. Because it tends to make itself known by putting a tight band around my lungs, I've been forcibly reminded that my brain is being a utter fucking dick with every breath. It is, at least, starting to abate somewhat, and only seems to be primarily from my sternum and to the left side.
I do have some ativan left over from my dental nonsense, but I am loathe to take it for reasons that I can't even parse. Something along the lines of "I've lived through this before and can live through it again" or some such justified bullshit for not taking any medication.
It tends to be something I can forget when I'm reading, so that's a help, at least. And reading is the kind of activity where you can be still and not do much and not sweat your proverbial balls off while still feeling like you're doing something more than stare at the walls when it gets stupidly hot.
I do have some ativan left over from my dental nonsense, but I am loathe to take it for reasons that I can't even parse. Something along the lines of "I've lived through this before and can live through it again" or some such justified bullshit for not taking any medication.
It tends to be something I can forget when I'm reading, so that's a help, at least. And reading is the kind of activity where you can be still and not do much and not sweat your proverbial balls off while still feeling like you're doing something more than stare at the walls when it gets stupidly hot.
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