Brain currently booting in Safe Mode

Some things:

I had a dental appointment today, a cleaning and exam. I got told that I should be going more often - every six months instead of every nine - and I declined. Yes, I can go twice a year, get in two cleanings and one exam, OR I can not push my dental anxiety anymore than I already do. My last appointment - three small fillings - was fucking traumatic, and cleanings are bad enough as it is. Yes, I should go more often, but I will not. Paying for mental torment is no kink of mine, thanks ever so much.

I think Sunny is lonely. He's been super affectionate lately and has dug out his favourite springs so we can play fetch, something he hasn't done in over a year. The spouse isn't ready for another cat, but only having one just doesn't sit right with me. Will we get a second (and possibly third) cat? Yes. When will this happen? *shrugs* I have no fucking clue.

We continue to be precariously housed. It is...not a great situation to be in. There's a lot of "hurry up and wait" and the uncertainty is a mill stone on my chest.

My reading and writing have fallen off the face of the planet. My brain has not been kind and there has been more than enough nonsense to distract me from the things that I love. Hell, even my crochet and knitting projects have been languishing lately.

To that end, I started something I consider a "mindless" crochet project. The pattern is simple, doesn't require counting, and is a number of two-row repeats. I was gifted some yarn and decided that it would make a nice scarf. It wasn't enough, which is fine, so I dug in my stash to find a very similar colour to finish it off. It wasn't enough again, which is less fine; I have one row left.

So I went to my stash, hoping to find a cream or off-white that would work with not just this scarf but the second one I started today (a just started project is much more public transportation friendly than an almost finished one) and came up empty. I have a lot of different colours, lots of different weights in two garbage bags, an underbed bin, and two tote bags, AND NO CREAM. I need to buy yarn so I can finish these. *le sigh*

It is cold and wet out there, but I have tea and a cozy sweater and comfy pants.

My tiny black kitten is 7 today! Happy Birthday, Sunny!

Sunny was sitting on a shelf giving me Toulouse-Lautrec "Le Chat Noir". Except it's not Toulouse-Lautrec, as I had believed FOR AGES, but Théophile Steinlen. Consider me corrected, then. You learn something new, apparently. :)

Sunny will no longer go near a pill pocket. Saturday, he bit in and broke the capsule, shook his head then scarpered elsewhere. I know that the powder inside is VERY BITTER and cats can taste bitter. Sunday, I gave him his typical pill pocket and other treats and he Did Not Want. Today, I dropped a fresh pill pocket onto the floor accidentally. He sniffed it and backed away.

The pill pockets, they have betrayed him. I actually had to pill him this morning, which...was not great. It took three attempts, the third only worked because I had a very firm grip on the scruff of his neck. You know those memes about cats being difficult to pill? Yeah, that's Sunny in a nutshell. He's taking medication because he's anxious, and now I have to stress him out to get that medication INTO him. Ugh. There are no good solutions here. I'm just venting.

In other news, I mopped the kitchen floor. I know, it's not a big deal to a lot of people, but it's one of my most hated chores. I have to empty the kitchen of everything that isn't appliances and shelving, sweep, maybe sweep again, then I can spray the floor with cleaner before getting to the actual business of mopping. We don't have a big kitchen, but we have a LOT stuffed into it. Disassembly/reassembly is incredibly off-putting. Now, don't get me wrong, I love the results, but the lead in just fills me with fuck-that-don't-wanna.

And it is FUCKING COLD out there. That wind just cuts through everything like a laser cutter. I had to fetch the kid from school and was glad that I had made him wear snowpants today. Now, I'm in a nice warm apartment, dinner already in the oven, and can forget that the sun is a lying liar who lies.

Sunny did not stay at the vet yesterday and is hella affectionate this morning. Because dosing the cat did not work and he was still peeing on the floor, he's going to be put on fluoxetine. (Sound familiar? It should because it's the chemical name of Prozac.) He also got a shot of some intense antibiotic, as well, as a band-aid and a precaution.

Now, when I get the medication in a couple of days, I'm going to be pilling the cat. Oddly, I'd much rather do that than any kind of syringe/liquid combination.

So, he's better, at least, but not fully 'cured'. Because this is going to be treated with a known antidepressant, there is no telling how long it will take. Could be three months, could be three years, could be the rest of his life. *shrug* He's not the first cat I've had with health problems and I doubt very much that it will be the last. This is what he needs, so this is what he gets.

One good thing about keeping track of one's reading is noting when it slows way down. Because of the weather and the construction and the cat (who is still peeing on the floor - I now think it's in protest of the construction noise which I can do NOTHING about), my brain is eating myself. I'm heading into a 'meh' phase where reading is not a thing that holds my attention for longer than fifteen minutes. I did finish Memory Called Empire and really enjoyed it, but picking up another book right now, whether dead tree or electronic, isn't doing anything for me right now.

To that end, I started catching up on some of the Netflix shows that I am seriously behind in that I can't watch when Declan is around for various reasons (and one or two seasons adds up over multiple shows). I've started with season 4 of Castlevania because a) each episode is less than 30 minutes, b) it's fucking great, and c) did I mention it's fucking great? The first season is four episodes, roughly movie-length when binged all at once, Trevor Belmont is deeply cynical and fucking tired and I just identify with him so much, it's gory and visceral and gorgeously animated, and it never feels like the video game it's based on.

Sunny has been consistently peeing in the same spot on the floor, which means that something is wrong with the cat. The vet opens tomorrow morning at 8:30, and I'm going to call them as close as I can get to their opening to get him back in.

Last night, he peed on the floor and then sat there beside it, waiting for me to notice (I was doing the dishes at the time). He didn't seem particularly happy about his new bathroom habits, but I'm not going to get mad at him anymore. As it seems that he is not well, my anger is not helpful. Right now, I'm both worried and concerned.

I'm also not going to be using an enzyme based cleaner on the spot he's using, either. Not yet. The floor is relatively easy to clean and I don't want to drive him to a spot that is harder to reach or has CDs or something.

I also know it's not a litterbox avoidance, because I witnessed him pooping in it. Seems weird to be pleased that he's still using the box, but I would much rather clean up urine than shit.

Fuck me, I'm tired.

Took the cats to the vet this morning for their very long overdue annual/shots. Sheldon needs to have some dental work done at some point soon (spendy!) and Sunny is still at the vet as they need to have a urine sample and his bladder was empty. Sunny has been sporadically peeing beside the litterbox for the past few weeks and we want to determine if it's an infection or he's protesting something.

To eliminate (hah!) the protest/behavioral portion, I emptied the boxes, scrubbed them and the mats they sit on as well as I could in the laundry room tub with a mix of borax and dishsoap. As they were drip drying in the bathtub, I swept/vacuumed the box areas to get up all the dust/stray litter bits. Paul picked up a big bag of litter, and after filling the boxes, there isn't much left. But clean boxes and new litter certainly bring the stank down to next to nothing. I don't even know if either box has been used by Sheldon as of yet.

It's a fuck of a lot cleaner than it was, but godsdamn, is it tiring.

(Added to this I have also done a craptonne of laundry that I've been putting off for the past few days.)


I am also pleased that the kids are going back to the classroom in September. I am not pleased that the government has refused to mandate vaccines for the teachers, support staff, or the students over 12. Masks, yes, but the one thing that stops the delta variant in its tracks? Nope. UGH. I guess it was too much to ask for them to do the right thing this time, and keeping the antivaxxers the hell away from my kid (who is too young for the vaccine, and has manky kidneys to boot - something that COVID is known to affect).

I don't particularly care for the reasons why someone won't get vaccinated (aside from a medical one - that's a pass). I do care about making sure that my child is in an environment that is safe. Unless the reason is medical, keep your ignorant bullshit away from me and mine. Hell, stay the fuck at home away from everyone else, too. And yes, that includes your crotch goblins. If you're not going to participate in the social contract, then stay out of society.

I haven't been posting much because...well, I haven't felt like I've had much to post about.

November, thus far, has not been an easy month for me, brain wise. I don't know if it's the gloom or the fact that Shannon would have turned 14 yesterday or just my brain being a screaming bag of dicks because it can.

I turned 44 this week. It feels remarkably like 43 (and 42 and 41), although my hair is longer.

Today, I got woken up out of a dream at around 4:30 when Sheldon decided to put his claws into my areola. So that was fun. I really enjoyed the getting up, using the facilities and washing my hands, before dousing a cotton ball in isopropyl alcohol and cleaning the wound. It might explain why I am tired and out of sorts today.

So, in retaliation, I clipped his claws and Sunny's. That was...not fun and earned me a couple more scratches and another go round with an alcoholic cotton ball. Ugh.

I did get Declan outside for some sledding, but had to cut it short because A) I was cold and B) I am still trying to get over this cold that keeps on keepin' on. There is definitely a nap in my very near future.

I'm going to end with a little bit of good news from this week: the post fused to the bone (aka, I did not roll a 1 on my dental surgery). Now I wait to hear back from my dentist and get to spend another obscene amount of money for a fancy mouth crown.

Sunny has settled in nicely. He and Sheldon aren't quite snuggling up to each other yet, but the games of chase have started. :)

Sunny is...a kitten. He goes and goes and goes and goes and then just stops. After his nap (sometimes as short as five minutes), he goes some more. He loves the windows and watching outside, which is as close as he is going to get to the great outdoors. He's not terribly cuddly and is not a fan of being picked up, but he loves attention and will purr when you pet him. He does, though, like curling up NEXT to you and sleeps in the bed with us at night.

He's also a bit of a scavenger and will go after unattended people food, eating what he likes to eat; I think that's more a reflection of his life Before he was rescued than being born with a taste for macaroni and cheese. He is also the noisiest water-drinker I have ever known. It's like everything he does, he does with the utmost enthusiasm and vigour.

When I'm doing the dishes, he has to be with me. Sunny winds around my legs, attacks the cupboard door pulls, and is generally adorable so that I will pay attention to him and not the puffy water in the sink. I talk to him, but the dishes get done and then it's play time for a bit and maybe a snuggle. Most of the time, though, it's play. Because kitten.