Brain currently booting in Safe Mode

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

My lungs are weary and my ribs ache. I am also amazed and disgusted by the sheer volume of snot the human body can produce. My nose is also starting to take on a kind of Rudolf quality, though more raw than glowing. I also can't tell if there are seals in Hudson's Bay who are looking for a mate, or polar bears looking for an easy dinner. If it's the latter, then apologies to the zoo every time I cough.

I'm getting better? I'm not coughing as frequently or blowing my nose as often, although I have to be careful about laughing, chuckling, or giggling, as it will set off a fit.

Is it too much to want to get well so I can get my fucking flu shot and bivalent COVID booster? Or, you know, get well so I can be well for the holidays? I read an article recently where doctors noticed that when there are a lot of viruses going around, you tend to only get one at a time. And you know what? That's great, because who wants COVID and the flu at the same time. Shame that my immune system installed a gods-be-damned revolving door when I wasn't looking because this is bullshit.

I also decided to make fruit cake this year. I've not done so for a couple of years and it makes a good gift for people who like fruit cake. I went extra fance with the fruit (adding dried cherries and blueberries and cutting back on the raisins) and wow, I felt that. I usually get sticker shock at the Bulk Barn, but this hurt. I still had all of my birthday money and since I don't usually carry cash around, I used that. The fruit is getting all boozy and spicy in the fridge as I type this and the concoction smells DIVINE.

So. Let's see. Some things:

- today is a Weather Impacted Learning Day on account of freezing rain. So, that's something. I mean, I get it, freezing rain is NASTY, but I was hoping to have a nice, quiet day today and that's not going to happen. I do feel a little guilty for ordering some stuff from Amazon last night, because driving in this weather is hot garbage.

- I pulled the plug and purchased a waffle iron. I've wanted one for a while, have a place to store it (which is key), and it wasn't a billionty dollars. Before my dental appointment yesterday, I stopped into a drugstore to pick up a few things. There were five items, and the bill was $35 and change. Everything, save one, was a sale item, and the regular prices were STUPID expensive for what they are. I was suffering some sticker shock, especially as I went in for a bamboo toothbrush, only found models that were imbued with charcoal (?) and cost $9. So, yeah, I bought more from Amazon, because two extra soft brushes for $12 without charcoal (which seems so fucking scammy to me) is a much better deal.

- I always feel guilty when I buy something from Amazon. I hate their business model and how exploitative it is. I try to limit my spending through there as much as possible for that reason.

- dental anxiety always hits me, even if I'm not feeling it at the time. It's why I needed the afternoon nap, that's for damn sure.

- the books I've been reading have been...meh. Maybe I'm picking the wrong ones? I dunno. Reading lack lustre novels is so draining because it makes me not WANT to read. Gonna see if I can get my mojo back with my next one. *fingers crossed*

- even though we are no longer under any kind of mask mandate (aside from post secondary institutions and medical places), I did notice a lot of people still wearing one (me, included). When I was out on Saturday, I was strongly reminded of this: if someone can't or won't wear a mask properly, then that person is going to lie about a zombie bite.

Happy Mother's Day!

May today be what you need. :)

Some stuff that has happened:

- the last full week of January was full of appointments, including a trip to Sick Kids to meet with the Nephrology team and some testing for Declan to determine what's up with his kidneys and the cysts.

- when I went in to find out WTF was up with my knee (possible patellofemoral syndrome, which is only 'cured' by eight weeks of physio), got the results of my blood work. It came back normal. You should really see my surprise face on that one. *rolls eyes* The urine test did come back positive for protein (joy) but it's not enough to be worrying. At least it's an easy test to repeat.

- Declan had no protein in his urine and his blood work came back as normal. So there is that.

- having your knee x-rayed is weird. The positions you have to keep it in is very unnatural. The highlight of the entire process? Connecting with another mother who was there with her son. We both agreed that shame was something for other people, especially after you've had someone fondling your cervix with others watching. Yay, childbirth.

- tried to call my shiny new(ish) psychiatrist, since I'm running low on meds. Hahahahaha, no. Apparently, I had a consultancy appointment, and don't actually have a psychiatrist. Cue lots of swearing and gnashing of teeth. Fine, thinks I, it's back to the doc for my meds and make the appointment, which is for this Friday.

- my games continue to truck along. I am finding that Thorn's voice is nearly silent in my head, but Amy's has gotten very loud. You'll have your time to shine, darlin'. But it's not yet.

- I am currently bashing my head against getting a data recovery program to actually work. It's my fault that the information is lost, but it shouldn't be THIS hard to get it back. I am frustrated and about this close to pitching my computer off the roof.

- small victory: picked up Declan from school AND took out the recycling without falling on my ass. It's been raining since this afternoon and freezing, so not slipping and sliding is worth noting.

Happy Autumnal Equinox!

Summer's over (ostensibly) and now it's Fall. My favourite season. One of change. Maybe, just maybe, I should do something about how I feel (bitter, a disappointment, worthless) and change it. For me and no one else.

As much as we wanted to go, we decided against going to the Buskerfest Adult Show last night. We feared the heavens would open up and dump copious amounts of water onto our unsuspecting heads soaking us to the skin. So we watched a movie instead.

About what would have been the halfway point of the Adult Show, it started to piss rain. With yesterday raining on and off, we weren't even sure there was going to be an Adult Show, but if there was, everyone got soaked...except us, who had the foresight to stay home. :)

The heat makes my brain all melty. It's hard to think. And so easy to be randomly violent.

I found not only a belt, but also a pair of bike shorts at Addition-Elle and neither were very expensive. It's not much, but it makes things a little easier around here. Now if only the bloody heat/humidity would go somewhere else...:P

We made it to Toronto okay. It's very cool to be on the 26th floor (well, not really...it's more like the 22nd because of the numbers missing) in the middle of a thunderstorm. Ye gods, is air conditioning a wonderful thing! :)

Tomorrow is going to suck ass.

I woke up this morning a little stiff and sore (I need adjusting. Tuesday. Tuesday I see my chiropractor. She'll make everything all better). It's a little hard, with the position of the bed, to not look out the windows when I get up in the morning. I wasn't expecting what I did see. Snow?!? At the end of April?!?

So my first words the morning were a very suitable "What the Fuck?"