Brain currently booting in Safe Mode

...until it doesn't.

Had a brief bit of panic this morning. All I wanted to do was check my dang bank balance. Tried last night using the app on my phone, got an error. Spouse tried the same app from his phone, got in. It was late, I was tired, so I left it until this morning.

Got the same error.

No worries, thinks I, maybe someone got into my account and changed the password? Try to change the password, and get THE SAME FRIGGEN ERROR. Now panic is starting to set in, so I decide to check the other bank app I have on my phone, and it tells me that it can't get out to the wider world. Confused, I look at the top left of the screen and finally notice that I'm on network, not on wifi. (My plan is talk-and-text only, no data.)

Well, fuck me.

Get my phone back to recognizing the wifi signal that originates less than a metre from where I'm sitting, and NOW it works, ticketybo. Both apps, balances all checked.

Tech, man. Can't live with it, pass the beer nuts.

I have been under the weather for a week now. I had hoped that this virus would be both mild and short.

Apparently, that hope was misplaced.

I got it from my kid (because Sharing is Caring!), who spent most of the previous week home from school, partially on account of an over-abundance of caution, and partially because he was quite ill. But he did bounce back and was well enough for one day last week, so yay!

As for me, my sinuses are stuffed, one ear feels plugged whilst the other feels clear, and I am continually amazed at the sheer amount of snot that the human body can produce. My nose is red and raw, and I can easily go through 100+ tissues in a day. Oh, and the eardrum in my clear ear is itchy. No idea if that's possible, but it feels that way and it's fucking annoying. *grump*

I am supposed to be waiting for my kid whilst he's at a speech language appointment right now. Instead, I am sitting in front of my laptop, *this close* to tears.

Last week, I was told that the SLP needs to see the boy in person, as there are some sounds she's not certain he's making correctly over Zoom. And I get it, I do; technology can only take you so far, and there's always going to be a level of interference that is not present in person. Fine, thinks I, I can make this work. Bussing in, my usual mode of transport, is no bueno, as it's at least an hour one way with too much waiting time when the weather is this shitty. Since I can get reimbursed for transport, I opt for a cab.

Call the cab company 45 minutes before the appointment, figuring that it will be MORE than enough time between the wait for the car and the drive there to make it, even when the roads are less than great (as they are now). After 35 minutes of waiting, and already knowing that the drive is going to be longer than usual, I call the cab company and cancel the ride, not one minute before the cab arrives, far too late to be of any use to us.

I did everything right and still managed to fuck everything up.

I emailed the SLP and completely expect to be charged for the appointment as a late cancellation. It's only fair. So now I'm going to go get my coffee made and try to warm up and not feel so fucking useless at life.

I'm really enjoying keeping these lists with commentary of what I've been reading over the year. It keeps me somewhat organized and lets me track my thoughts.

I read 75 books last year. Not too shabby. Let's see if I can read more this year.

January:

1. The Earl's Holiday Wager - Theresa Romain
   
2. We'll Prescribe You a Cat - Syou Ishida (translated by E Madison Shimoda)
   
3. The Baron's Marriage Gamble - Theresa Romain
   
4. Agent to the Stars - John Scalzi
   
5. Ghost Station - SA Barnes
   
6. Thornhedge - T Kingfisher
   

February:

1. Earl's Trip - Jenny Holiday
   
2. The Duke at Hazard - KJ Charles
   
3. Witch King - Martha Wells
   
4. A Lady's Guide to Fortune-Hunting - Sophie Irwin
   

March:

1. The Spellshop - Sarah Beth Durst
   
2. The Beast Takes a Bride - Julie Anne Long
   
3. The Zombie Survival Guide - Max Brooks (reread)
   
4. Someone Perfect - Mary Balogh
   

April:

1. Til Death Do Us Bard - Rose Black
   
2. The Lady He Lost - Faye Delacour
   

May:

1. Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells
   • Compulsory (short story)
     
   • All Systems Red (reread)
     
   • Artificial Condition (reread)
     
   • Rogue Protocol (reread)
     
   • Exit Strategy (reread)
     
   • home: habitat, range, niche, territory (short story, reread)
     
   • Fugitive Telemetry (reread)
     
   • Network Effect (reread)
     
   • System Collapse (reread)
2. Tall, Duke, and Scandalous - Amy Rose Bennett
   
3. Demon's Guide to Wooing a Witch - Sarah Hawley
   

June:

1. Spirit Ring - Lois McMaster Bujold
   
2. Prince of Beasts - Lyonne Riley
   
3. Love is a Rogue - Lenora Bell
   

July:

1. Viscount in Love - Eloisa James
   
2. The Counterfeit Scoundrel - Lorraine Heath
   

August:

1. Behooved - M Stevenson
   
2. Zomromcom - Olivia Dade
   

September:

1. Sword of Destiny - Andrzej Sapkowski
   
2. Blood of Elves - Andrzej Sapkowski
   
3. Time of Contempt - Andrzej Sapkowski
   

October:

1. A Nobleman's Guide to Seducing a Scoundrel - KJ Charles
   
2. Baptism of Fire - Andrzej Sapkowski
   
3. Tower of Swallows - Andrzej Sapkowski
   
4. Lady of the Lake - Andrzej Sapkowski
   

November:

1. Morbidly Yours - Ivy Fairbanks
   
2. The Duke Gets Desperate - Diana Quincy
   
3. The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl: 2 Fuzzy, 2 Furious - Shannon Hale and Dean Hale
   

December:

1. The Apollo Murders - Chris Hadfield
   
2. Lovelight Farms - B K Borison
   

( Commentary this way... )

My hands, y'all, my hands suck.

For far longer than I should have, I have dealt with decreasing grip strength and bouts of pain. Is it an RSI? Maybe. Is it arthritis? Possibly. Is it fucking annoying? DEFINITELY.

I have to pace myself when I have a lot of sewing as so many of those actions hurt after anywhere from five minutes to an hour depending on the task. Usually crochet isn't too bad and doesn't require a day of rest between working on something. Now? Yeah, that's a no from me, dog. I'm not even going to attempt any knitting for the same reasons. Oh, and typing this today? Uncomfortable, which is a new one on me.

I have an appointment week after next and will have to take it easy for the next few days. As a stay-at-home-parent, this does not fill me with joy, because I feel that I have to justify not working by, well, working. And what does the work require? THE USE OF MY HANDS. *cries* At least there are leftovers for dinner tonight.

Usually, one reckons a week going from Sunday to Saturday, or even Monday to Sunday. Mine is going from Tuesday last week to today. And it's been a week, I tell you what.

On Tuesday, we all got double-jabbed for fluVID after the kiddo got home from school. Not unusual, but it's good that it's done and I can now relax a little bit regarding whatever respiratory silliness that's going around.

Wednesday morning started with a message from one of the jobs I had applied to, asking if was available to interview by phone the next day. Why yes, yes I was available, thanks for asking. That squared away, I took it easy for the rest of the day because my arm was aching like someone had used it for bare-knuckle boxing practice. I also decided that today was the day to make the switch from Windows to Linux for so many reasons. So many.

The phone interview on Thursday was... meh. It wasn't stellar, wasn't horrid, just there. There was a bit of an accent barrier, and Beans was chewing on my toes because he could. It was exceedingly distracting and I was certain that would be the end of that. (This is fine, because whilst I am looking, I'm also realistic enough to know that a sixteen year gap is a LOT for most companies to take the risk.)

Friday, a call came in from the company, asking me to come in on Monday for an in-person interview. I'm flummoxed, but agree as one of us needs to work if we want to continue our lifestyle of paying rent and eating food whilst living paycheque-to-paycheque.

At it as also Hallowe'en and D was uninterested in going out and scoring candy, I made cheeseburgers for dinner, and we had waffles and a thematically appropriate ice cream for dessert. We deemed Declan old enough and watched The Thing as we ate. When that was over, I showed them the Honest Trailer of the same. All-in-all, it was a good evening.

Saturday, I gamed with my D&D group. We were online due to circumstances outside of our control. This is where I discovered that while the switch between operating systems was fairly painless in most respects, Discord was being a little brat and needed a lot of finessing. We limped along with substandard play until after lunch. My kid, who had made the switch months ago, told me what he did to make Discord behave. I did the same during the lunch break and voila! Success without college. The rest of the game continued as it usual did.

Yesterday was quiet. The only thing of note was a fit-check on my good clothes, in case I needed to make an emergency purchase. I have not needed event appropriate clothes in over a decade, so I was delighted to discover that they fit well-enough to be serviceable. I also read a charming romance that made me cry. It even started with a meet-cute over body bags. It's lovely and warm with an animator and a mortician figuring out how they fit together for their HEA.

Today.

Today, for the first time in almost two decades, I had an honest-to-goodness grown-up job interview. Yes, I was nervous, but I don't think I made too much of an ass of myself. One of the interviewers was impressed that not only was "First Contact Resolution" on my resume, but I also know what it means. I think I made a good impression? I have a lot of tech experience/expertise, and I'm used to monotonous work, so who the fuck knows? I certainly do not. I lost the ability to tell if it went well forever ago. :P

Instead of stressing, I came home and baked a cake, which seemed a better use of my time.

This week has been a bit of a whirlwind and I'm tired. I'm going to go check on my dinner and get ready to eat, complete with gingerbread for dessert.

Night before last, there was an EPIC ruckus in the apartment above ours at 5am. I'm talking "bodies hit the floor" level of ruckus, here, not "cat jumping down from high places" thumps. It was someone throwing a tantrum at the very least, and possibly domestic violence at worst. In any case, it looked, for all the world, that person(s) took their Big Feelings outside and directed it at the garden.

I noticed that one of the hostas near the back door was torn out/up when we were taking Beans to the vet for his last round of vaccines. (Beans continue to be adorable, but is a thorn in Sunny's side. As much as I want them to be cuddle/play buddies, I have little hope that it will happen any time soon, if ever.)

Yes, it could have been an animal, but it felt very human to me.

Tonight, I replanted the hosta in a new location (it had extensive roots and it's been raining and will continue to do so and hostas are pretty damned resilient - it will be okay), away from whichever dipshit decided to destroy it in the first place. I cleaned up the torn leaves, pulled a couple of invasive thistles (my own personal bugbear) and am hot and sweaty. It's not all that hot out there, but it IS hella humid.

It's not a big garden, and I can only do so much given the lack of tools/money to do a proper job of it, and what it needs is extensive. I'm not even being compensated for my labour as it is; I do this to make me happy. But replanting a hosta? This, this I can do.

So. Last week, we were dumb.



This is Beans. He was adopted from the Humane Society on Thursday. He's 2 months old and so very wee. We took him to the vet on Friday to a) get him registered, and b) get his left eye checked out, since it was red-rimmed and leaking (his eye is fine - no scratches and we have drops that are clearing up whatever irritation he had). On Saturday, we went and splashed out on a new cat tree as our previous one was at least eight years old. (Beans was asleep on top of the condo until I spoke to him. Now he wants cuddles.)

He is full of kitten-y mischief, like going behind the stove and into the warming drawer. Exhibit A:

Sunny is warming up to him. It's a process, but there hasn't been aggression. He has hissed, growled, swatted once that I saw (and only one time), and has found places to be that Beans cannot get to. It's been more of, "Go away, kid, you bother me," and less, "I must defend my home from invaders." Beans wants to play with his new cat-shaped friend SO BADLY, but Sunny isn't there yet. I observe their interactions, but will only interfere if it gets dangerous; Beans needs to learn that the older cat has some very reasonable boundaries and won't if I'm constantly pulling them apart.

Some things:

I had a dental appointment today, a cleaning and exam. I got told that I should be going more often - every six months instead of every nine - and I declined. Yes, I can go twice a year, get in two cleanings and one exam, OR I can not push my dental anxiety anymore than I already do. My last appointment - three small fillings - was fucking traumatic, and cleanings are bad enough as it is. Yes, I should go more often, but I will not. Paying for mental torment is no kink of mine, thanks ever so much.

I think Sunny is lonely. He's been super affectionate lately and has dug out his favourite springs so we can play fetch, something he hasn't done in over a year. The spouse isn't ready for another cat, but only having one just doesn't sit right with me. Will we get a second (and possibly third) cat? Yes. When will this happen? *shrugs* I have no fucking clue.

We continue to be precariously housed. It is...not a great situation to be in. There's a lot of "hurry up and wait" and the uncertainty is a mill stone on my chest.

My reading and writing have fallen off the face of the planet. My brain has not been kind and there has been more than enough nonsense to distract me from the things that I love. Hell, even my crochet and knitting projects have been languishing lately.

To that end, I started something I consider a "mindless" crochet project. The pattern is simple, doesn't require counting, and is a number of two-row repeats. I was gifted some yarn and decided that it would make a nice scarf. It wasn't enough, which is fine, so I dug in my stash to find a very similar colour to finish it off. It wasn't enough again, which is less fine; I have one row left.

So I went to my stash, hoping to find a cream or off-white that would work with not just this scarf but the second one I started today (a just started project is much more public transportation friendly than an almost finished one) and came up empty. I have a lot of different colours, lots of different weights in two garbage bags, an underbed bin, and two tote bags, AND NO CREAM. I need to buy yarn so I can finish these. *le sigh*

It is cold and wet out there, but I have tea and a cozy sweater and comfy pants.