Brain currently booting in Safe Mode

I woke up sick. Whee!

It doesn't feel like anything major, and yet being unwell during a heat wave is the epitome of awful. Going to drink lots of tea and not do much for the next few days.

Sunny and Beans. Beans wants to play with his cat-shaped friend so badly, and Sunny wants nothing to do with him. I play with Beans as often as I can to wear him out, but he always gravitates back to the other cat. Sunny is jealous that I don't pay 100% of my attention to him anymore; he's an aloof cat who maybe wants 30 minutes spread out through the day. That's it.

I guess now that I'm not available on his schedule is the root of his turning into a grumpy old man, but he can adapt to it just like he needs to adapt to Beans.

Beans continues to be a delight. He does, though, get into things he should not (typical kitten behaviour), so there's a lot of redirection going on around here, including redirection back to a toy and away from Sunny.

We live in the darkest timeline.

I'm currently oscillating between wanting to throw up and utter despair.

While I am not American and could not vote, I am going to be deeply affected by the results all the same. I worry what is going to happen with our next election, how this will embolden the right to be even more extreme.

Stop the world. I want to get off.

It's been a week.

But, valkryor, you say, it's only Monday.

And to that I reply, yes, yes it is.

Working backward starting today:

Monday - End of July always sucks. Today, it's been 19 years since we lost Shannon. 19! I'm not bawling my eyes out every five minutes or anything so obvious, but I'm flat and gray and glum all the same. We did do groceries this morning, so that's one less thing anyone has to deal with. Oh, and because today isn't 'fun' enough, I think I'm coming down with something. What that something is, or even if it is a thing, I do not know. Whee.

Sunday - Was okay, but kind of meh as it's been 22 years since Gus the big Mean Bunny died. I miss him a lot, even if he could be a cantankerous ass about the weirdest things.

Saturday - Best day of the lot. It was ostensibly a game day, but clawfoot, Ironstone, and I are making up for the time lost during the Great Panini. Yes, we still gamed, which was great, but in person beats online any day of the week. Good times, good conversation, and one actual combat. It was enough. :)

Friday - Mammogram and Ultrasound. Yeah. That just sucks even when you're not facing down the Worst Weekend. I'm not entirely reassured by the number of pictures taken during the ultrasound, especially in places where I didn't find anything; it has been hovering at the edge of my thoughts since. Good times. I also lost a chunk of writing (I use Docs on my phone when I'm out and about) and I have no fucking clue where it went. It was there and then it wasn't. I likely fat-fingered something. Not improving my mood was dealing with public transportation. It was ostensibly fine, and yet... While it wasn't cramped or overly crowded, every bus I took over the two days of appointments was BUSY. Lots of stops, lots of movement of passengers. Which is fine, but I had had enough by the time I had to catch my bus to come home.

Thursday - A dental appointment. I mean, a cleaning and exam isn't that bad all things considering, but with the impending mammogram/ultrasound and the Worst Weekend? We'll just say that "dental anxiety" wasn't on my bingo card this year. Oh, and I have work that needs to be done at the end of August. JOY.

Here's hoping that the thing that wants to invade is nothing more than a stress response to the Worst Week and not an actual virus. I am not a fan of either, but at least the stress response isn't contagious. Super annoying, sure, but I won't make anyone else sick.

One more week of winter break and then the kid goes back to school. The spouse starts work again soonish, too, so it won't be long before I can have some much needed time ALONE.

My back is better. Perfect, no, but no longer making any task I attempt a source of "Surprise! Pain!". Some muscle relaxers over a couple of days really made a difference. It's still a bit messed up, but it's now livable. So yes, I'll take it.

I only made one resolution for this year, and one that's actually achievable: I want to read more books this year than last. I did a quick count on my 2022 reading list and came up with 62. It's completely reasonable to aim for more reading this year. I really should get on that, though, and start something new.

Oh. And I did it. I finished them. I have made SOCKS. (I'm ridiculously proud of myself for this. They have since been blocked and worn and washed and look a lot brighter in person. *hee* SOCKS!)

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

My lungs are weary and my ribs ache. I am also amazed and disgusted by the sheer volume of snot the human body can produce. My nose is also starting to take on a kind of Rudolf quality, though more raw than glowing. I also can't tell if there are seals in Hudson's Bay who are looking for a mate, or polar bears looking for an easy dinner. If it's the latter, then apologies to the zoo every time I cough.

I'm getting better? I'm not coughing as frequently or blowing my nose as often, although I have to be careful about laughing, chuckling, or giggling, as it will set off a fit.

Is it too much to want to get well so I can get my fucking flu shot and bivalent COVID booster? Or, you know, get well so I can be well for the holidays? I read an article recently where doctors noticed that when there are a lot of viruses going around, you tend to only get one at a time. And you know what? That's great, because who wants COVID and the flu at the same time. Shame that my immune system installed a gods-be-damned revolving door when I wasn't looking because this is bullshit.

I also decided to make fruit cake this year. I've not done so for a couple of years and it makes a good gift for people who like fruit cake. I went extra fance with the fruit (adding dried cherries and blueberries and cutting back on the raisins) and wow, I felt that. I usually get sticker shock at the Bulk Barn, but this hurt. I still had all of my birthday money and since I don't usually carry cash around, I used that. The fruit is getting all boozy and spicy in the fridge as I type this and the concoction smells DIVINE.

Guess who has two thumbs and now has the sick? *points at self* This girl!

(I blame Paul.)

In less glamorous news, the kid has stayed home every day this week thus far. He was two minutes from getting out the door when he went really pale and noped out. What am I going to do? Tell him he's lying and send him out anyway? Yeah. Not a good plan, not when he was coughing like he was going to yark. He didn't yark, but he looked and sounded like he was going to. Plus, I rather he not spread this around, whatever it is, because it's nasty.

On the bad news front, I am still sick. On the good news front, it's not COVID. I tested myself yesterday and the control line was the ONLY line. It was so well defined, it looked like an emphatic no to me. There's nothing novel about this coronavirus, I guess. At least the brain fog seems to have lifted, although now I'm coughing. Ugh.

I kept Declan home yesterday in an abundance of caution, but he needs to go to school, for both of our sakes. I am sending him in wearing a mask today, though, to help protect his classmates a little bit.

So.

First Declan was sick.

Then I caught it a few days later.

Now Paul has come down with it.

Yay.

(On a better news front, Declan's over it, and I'm at the tail end of whatever this nonsense was. It was pretty short-lived, so that's something.)

My kid is home sick again today. The plague? A basic cold? Allergies? No idea, but as he started coughing this morning, it seemed prudent to just keep him home instead of sending him to school and then having him sent home.

Also, can I say that I'm done with my kid catching every damn virus? This is the third time since March Break, which is a LOT. Yes, he wears a mask, and yet that doesn't seem to make any difference. *le sigh*

I guess this gives me some incentive to clean the bathroom? Or not, I don't fucking know anymore.

My kid has brought home a cold. I know it's a cold because I've tested myself for COVID twice and both times came back negative. It still sucks, though. I had gotten used to not getting sick because of social distancing, masks, and lockdowns.

My voice is shot for the second day and I've started coughing.

I hate coughing, because I am not a 'delicate cougher'. Declan also has a mild cough, but he's still getting over his cold, so there is that. Plus, he had an extra long weekend (home Friday and Monday because of this) and I am reluctant to keep him home any longer, mostly because I selfishly need some quiet. I love my son, but he is a lot and we live in a small space where physical distancing would be impossible.

I had some loose plans to do my laundry, and depending on my energy levels, that might be too much at least in the moment. I might feel up for it a little later, after I've watched some Bob Ross and maybe had a nap.