Brain currently booting in Safe Mode

Some things:

I had a dental appointment today, a cleaning and exam. I got told that I should be going more often - every six months instead of every nine - and I declined. Yes, I can go twice a year, get in two cleanings and one exam, OR I can not push my dental anxiety anymore than I already do. My last appointment - three small fillings - was fucking traumatic, and cleanings are bad enough as it is. Yes, I should go more often, but I will not. Paying for mental torment is no kink of mine, thanks ever so much.

I think Sunny is lonely. He's been super affectionate lately and has dug out his favourite springs so we can play fetch, something he hasn't done in over a year. The spouse isn't ready for another cat, but only having one just doesn't sit right with me. Will we get a second (and possibly third) cat? Yes. When will this happen? *shrugs* I have no fucking clue.

We continue to be precariously housed. It is...not a great situation to be in. There's a lot of "hurry up and wait" and the uncertainty is a mill stone on my chest.

My reading and writing have fallen off the face of the planet. My brain has not been kind and there has been more than enough nonsense to distract me from the things that I love. Hell, even my crochet and knitting projects have been languishing lately.

To that end, I started something I consider a "mindless" crochet project. The pattern is simple, doesn't require counting, and is a number of two-row repeats. I was gifted some yarn and decided that it would make a nice scarf. It wasn't enough, which is fine, so I dug in my stash to find a very similar colour to finish it off. It wasn't enough again, which is less fine; I have one row left.

So I went to my stash, hoping to find a cream or off-white that would work with not just this scarf but the second one I started today (a just started project is much more public transportation friendly than an almost finished one) and came up empty. I have a lot of different colours, lots of different weights in two garbage bags, an underbed bin, and two tote bags, AND NO CREAM. I need to buy yarn so I can finish these. *le sigh*

It is cold and wet out there, but I have tea and a cozy sweater and comfy pants.

Okay, it's not exciting or even all that pretty, but it is functional, which is what really matters. Some background: last week, we bought a new microwave. Our previous one was dying - overheating and shutting off, lacklustre performance, &c - and I was keeping it unplugged unless we needed to use it because I am fucking paranoid about house fires.

What I used to do was keep a bunch of baking stuff on top of the microwave. (Yes, I know. This might have shortened its life, but it's done now.) What I didn't do was pile the same stuff on top of the new one. I built a shelf instead.

I had to borrow a skill saw and get a short piece of scrap 2x4 from a friend, but I had a piece of 3/4 plywood that was taking up space in the coat closet and was a nuisance every time the door was opened more than a hand's width. I need to get my hands on a really thin cutting mat from the dollar store to replace the towel I have in place now, but that should be the only monetary cost. The only downside is the cord for the microwave is very taut. It's not pulling, but there's ZERO slack. I would be happier with a little slack, but c'est la vie.

My baking stuff is accessible whilst being out of the way, and the microwave is up a bit, which makes it easier to see inside/clean. And I wore the sexy combination of bike shorts, (sort of) compression socks, and combat boots. WOO!

Some things:

- Declan came home with his most recent math test, and got 100%. Can I mention how incredibly fucking proud I am of him? Because I am.

- Bored of my usual Christmas decorations and having zero monies, I went through my stash of beading supplies and got creative. Then, when I was setting up the tree, I went through my fabric stash to find something to cover the red clay pot I use as a stand and the burlap around the bottom of the tree. Free is my favourite price and the result is endearing.



- I was pilling the cat this morning and fumbled the capsule. Into his mouth. I thought it had gone somewhere when I noticed him swallowing it down. Score one for me today.

My apartment is decorated, my kid is home today (blended learning day, which is a mix of synchronous and asynchronous learning), and I am *le tired*. I have things to do (the laundry waits for no one) and maybe some baking later, and that's enough for today.

My kid wasn't feeling great, so he's home today, which means I've had to work around two people to get shit done instead of just one.

I have:

pilled the cat, fed the cats, scooped both litterboxes

done my laundry (washed, dried, AND put away - minus the things that need to air dry)

vacuumed

set up the portable AC unit because it is going to be STUPID hot this week

installed a window fan in the kid's room (this included getting to the window, clearing off the sill, cleaning the sill and radiator, washing the window (ew), adjusting the curtain to block light without blocking the fan, vacuuming under the window, putting everything back

I wanted to be done everything by noon, but I'm happy enough with being done before one. Now I get to relax and put my feet up or fuck around on my laptop. I am *le tired* and overly warm from all that work. At least I do not have to make dinner tonight, since I made a massive meal yesterday for Father's Day and there are leftovers.

I spent 30 minutes gardening yesterday. Our current super is as useless as tits on a bull (and the previous ones weren't great in this department, either, although they kept the grass cut), and we have an invasion of invasive thistle. So I went out there with my pruners and cut it all down (in and around the hostas - anything in the grass is Not My Problem), then moved a fern that was growing in the middle of a hosta to a bare bit of soil.

Yes, I know that it's better to dig out thistle, BUT, they have creeping roots and forcing the plant to use precious energy to regrow is also a viable strategy. If you keep on top of growth, the plant will eventually die from stress. It's less labour intensive, completely environmentally safe, and you get the satisfaction of attacking things with a pruner. I also own pruning shears, and have no easy access to shovels, forks, or rakes.

Does it look better? Yes. And that's good enough for me.

Some days are great. Others start out rough and stay that way. Today? Today started out rough, had a lovely remote gaming session, and has turned rough again.

( It started with shit. )

My gaming session ended up with looking at rude marginalia and laughing over the dirty dirty illustrations left by monks and scribes hundreds and hundreds of years ago. Some of them are WILD, and if you are ever in need of a good laugh, then by all means, give it a search and look through the images. My particular favourites are the butt trumpets (which is a perfect representation for the internet and social media), the scrotal bagpipes, penis trees, and weird animals.

After dinner, and as I was starting the dishes, I was walking towards the bedroom to throw yesterday's dish cloth into the laundry hamper. I had a headache (that finally seems to have abated thanks to ibuprofen) and closed my eyes to ease it.

And walked right into a fucking CD rack.

Two boxsets fell off the top, and only one of those onto the floor (the other landed on a chair), but the real damage was to my foot. I don't know if I broke a toe (one of them swelled like a mofo), and if I did, there's nothing that can be done. I am icing it as I type this and trying not to move my foot around too much. Tomorrow, it's probably going to be pretty purples and blues.

It started with shit. And it's now evolved into a possible broken toe. This is just one of those days.

So I think to myself, Self, it is fucking cold out there and when the kiddo gets home, he might want hot chocolate.

So I think, Self, that is a great idea. However, I don't know if there's enough powder for a single mug, which means I will need to make more.

And I get everything together, the ingredients and the tools, happy to discover that I will have enough powdered milk for a full batch. EXCEPT, I do not have enough cocoa powder. At a guess, I had maybe 1/3 cup, when the recipe calls for 1 cup. So I did the math and made do, making only a third of a batch. (Note: I do not toast my milk powder and add cinnamon to my mix.)

I might be out of cocoa, but at least I have some hot chocolate powder for a cold-enough-to-freeze-the-balls-off-a-brass-monkey day like today.

I have a teenager living in the house. Yesterday, we had his party in the park (as is usual AND was at his request). The weather was pretty much perfect, although the wasps were frightful. Holy hells, there were a LOT. I made a very effective wasp trap from a discarded water bottle (that yes, I pulled from the trash can - I have no shame) and it made a difference.

The party was well-attended, and he had a good time. He also got a new scooter from his aunt and uncle, an adult upgrade to the one he was using. It has a weight rating of 100kg. He should be able to use it for a good long while, which is awesome.

Today, I have no plans outside of thoroughly cleaning the litter boxes. It's gotten to the point that they smell like they need scooping right after they've been scooped. It's pretty friggen gnarly and as much as I don't want to haul them down to the laundry room to apply soap and water, I need to. At least I have gloves.

I'll tell you one thing for free: no one ever complains when you say you're going to bake something.

Well, if you're halfway decent, that is. If you're terrible and you come *this close* to blowing up the kitchen when you try, then okay, there should be a complaint. If only for the health and safety of the baker.

I'm halfway decent. It sounds like a humblebrag, but it's not, as there are still things I can still fuck up. Exhibit A: the Kanelbullar I made this weekend. Everything came together nicely (or so I thought) and then I ignored my instincts and they burned. WHOOPS. Despite that, they were still edible AND I have some tweaks that I think will work nicely, thanks to looking up recipes for challah with marzipan.

Today, I had some leftover coffee (that I reserved for baking) and two sad lemons that I got from my mom. Since I didn't want to throw out either and if I left it for much longer I would have, baked goods it is!

Coffee goes in my go-to brownie recipe. So I made brownies and they're currently cooling on the stove. The lemons meant I had to go hunting in my cupboard for something else: poppy seeds! And wouldn't ya know it? I have some of an indeterminate age that still smelled like poppy seeds. Good enough!

Lemon Poppy Seed Poundcake also needs light cream, but you can fake that well enough by using milk with some butter to bring up the fat content. And I wasn't going to pay [insert exorbitant price here] for an ingredient that shows up on substitution lists for a reason.

The cakes are currently baking in the oven and once they're out, brushed with lemon syrup, and fully cooled, it's to the freezer for them. Despite the limited freezer space, I like having emergency cake on hand, especially now that the weather's getting summery and soon turning on the oven will be anathema.

EDIT: The cakes fell in the middle. I wish I could be sad about that because they still smelled fantastic. They were wrapped, bagged, labeled, and currently reside in my freezer as emergency cake. Because there are days when you just want cake, but have no fucks to make one.

Every year about this time I think to myself, I should make fruitcake.

And every year, I CONVENIENTLY FORGET THAT IT TAKES AT LEAST THREE FRIGGEN HOURS TO MAKE FRUITCAKE. That doesn't include the baking time NOR the time to shop for ingredients.

Have I mentioned that it's a long, involved process, because, boy howdy, it's a long and involved process. BUT, at the end of it, I have fruitcake, most of which I gift; there's only so much I can eat.

I had some loose plans to clean the bathroom (it needs it), while the fruitcake is going from a sticky raw mess to a sticky baked brick. I don't think I have the energy at the moment. Hell, I made Paul go pick something up for lunch because that's beyond my capabilities right now. Maybe I can find the fucks to give to fill out a few Christmas cards.

Even that's not looking too likely at the moment.