calm blue ocean calm blue ocean calm blue ocean

[valkryor]

I think I finally understand why parents shake babies.

Tired and very frustrated last night, I became quite angered and wanted to lash out at the cause of that anger.

But Shannon doesn't mean to be frustrating, so it's not her fault. And lashing out at someone who's helpless is the mark of a very low person.

I know that it has nothing to do with her heart condition or the 22q11 microdeletion. I found out today when talking to the nurse practitioner at the echocardiogram lab (who has a 15 month old girl) that parents of healthy children feel the same frustration and have the same desire to lash out when the baby won't settle or is colicky.

I managed to get what now passes as enough sleep these days last night, so I'm much calmer tonight.

I didn't shake the baby, but now I know what the urge to do so feels like.

Comments

[epi-lj.livejournal.com]

It's like the whole Last Temptation of Christ issue. Some people find it offensive to imagine that Jesus suffered temptations, but the whole point was that a person who is holy because they are fundamentally immune to temptation has accomplished nothing. The remarkable life is that of the person who is plagued by temptation but resists.