who cares

I have this pattern where I get really upset about how I look, about my size and that I'm completely unappealing (it leans towards the "too hideous to look at" category, which is lightyears beyond being sexually appealing). Then fuzzpsych will tell me that he loves me and still finds me attractive, which can be one of a few ego boosts depending on how low I feel. Eventually my self-esteem gets enough reassurance for me to get on with things until the next low point.

I'd rather do nothing about it and know the results than do something and get no results at all. Sounds really stupid, I know, but I like the safe and predictable, which also makes me a very boring person in all aspects.

I don't bother because nothing will change. Not really. I'll still go through this cycle and in the end, the low self-image and the non-existant self-worth along with the trying-to-be-interesting-and-failing-miserably me will still be there, regardless of my physical size.

(no subject)

I think I'm going to stop posting for a while. It's not like I ever have anything interesting worth reading. Come on, how much inane babble about the baby can you really tolerate?