(no subject)

[valkryor]

I have this powerful urge to chuck my parent badge into the nearest bin, go home and turn off the phone and pretend that none of this is happening, so I can go back to living a semblance of a life. Nothing makes any sense and this is the only way that I can think of to impose some sort of order on chaos.

I bring Miss Kitty (Shannon's favourite toy) with me to the hospital everyday to remind her (remind me) that she (that I) had a life outside of Sick Kids and that all of this is a bad dream. But it's not just a dream and it gets harder and harder to convince myself that she'll ever wake up again. I fear that she has (I have) given up the fight.

When you have kids, you don't intend to pin hopes/dreams on them, but seconds after that first cry, you do it without even realizing that it's happened. And now I have the (mis)fortune to watch them ebb away into nothingness.

I feel so empty inside, hollow. I'm kind of hungry, but I don't want to eat. I had moments like this after Gus died, but it wasn't this complete. Now if it's all the same to you, I think I'm going to crawl off under a rock somewhere and cry myself to oblivion.

Comments

[joncanuck]

*HUGS*

....

*HUGS*

*sigh*

[meowster.livejournal.com]

i second the sentiment...

[poeticalpanther.livejournal.com]

There isn't anything the least bit useful I can say. I can't even say I can imagine, because I can't.

Re: *sigh*

[clawfoot.livejournal.com]

Thirded.

[epi-lj.livejournal.com]

I hope you manage to find some peace when you can. *hugs* I cannot imagine what it must be like.

Re: *sigh*

[iamjw.livejournal.com]

Fourthed.

[boodled.livejournal.com]

I wish there was something any of us could do... other than be there for each other.

I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through.
Seek peace and comfort as you can, even if in solitude, but never in isolation.

The three of you are constantly in my thoughts.

[twilightrabbit.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. You don't deserve this, love. Lean on whoever you can to get through this.
It never helps to cry alone.