(no subject)

[valkryor]

It's time, I think, to introduce a new rating system. After the brilliance of the "Hoover Scale" for WATSFiC tourneys, it occurred to me yesterday sitting next to a woman who just would not shut the fuck up while I eating my lunch that something was needed. So here it is...

The Ball Gag Awards!

It's pretty simple. When you are in earshot of someone who would do well to be reminded that silence is a virtue (especially if it needs to be imposed) through a physical barrier, just nominate them in your LJ (small children, unless they are extremely bratty about it, aren't candiates, as they just don't know any better).

My first nominee is that woman at lunch. She was sitting at the next table over in the Sick Kids cafeteria and nattering away about nothing. Every time her eating companion tried to get a word in edgewise, she would cut him off and just prattle. I was getting very very angry at having to listen to her endless verbal diarrhea and I wanted to stuff my fist in her jaws just to stop the noise. She could have used a ball gag, and I would have provided one to her, if for no other reason than to let her friend actually speak an entire sentence without interruption.

Comments

[joncanuck]

Oh, then I have a great second nominee.

Guy walks into the bathroom today while I'm sitting in a stall. I had thought it was two guys because it sounded like a low level conversation going on.

Turns out, it was just him. Talking to himself constantly from the moment he entered the bathroom to the moment he left. And it was a conversation, I could hear him mentioning he was in the bathroom.

So either he had a hands free cell phone headset on (in the bathroom of all places) or I'm not getting into the same elevator as him

[valkryor.livejournal.com]

Probably a hands free cell. Most people don't hold conversations with themselves in public. And yes, a constant conversation while emptying a bladder does qualify. :)

[boodled.livejournal.com]

I'd love to nominate over half of the customers at Das Mill, but I'll choose only one...

This wonderful lady comes in with her 5 children (all under age of 3), and proceeds to loudly tell the youngest child, "Now, don't ask the nice ladies why it is so hot in here. They know it's hot in here. Everybody in here knows how hot it is in here, and they don't need to be reminded of it every few minutes."

Over the next 10 minutes, she says the same thing to each of her other children, in a voice loud enough to be heard two stores down from here.

And, yes, when she finally gets to the cutting table she says, "How can you girls work in this stifling heat? I bet you get lots of people asking that, don't you? Are you tired of hearing people ask if it's hot enough for you in here? Your bosses should get that air conditioning working. It's so unfair to you all, suffering like this."

-- Insert sound of Barb biting her tongue until it bleeds --

As she leaves with her fabric, she turns around and says, "Here's my husband's business card - he sells air conditioning systems!"

[hare-mengele.livejournal.com]

Violence is golden. Oops, I meant silence is golden.

Anyway, I hope the Ball Gag Award winner doesn't get to do an acceptance speech.

Cheers!
~Hare Mengele