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valkryorI've been feeling out of sorts lately. Okay. To be fair, being pregnant has made me not the easiest person to get along with as of late, and I'm more than willing to admit that that has made me out of sorts (and snappish and cranky, etc, etc, etc).
But this is different.
Family is starting to make Christmas plans (it's still seven weeks away), and on account of the baby, they want to get the most bang for their buck. I understand that. I really do. Christmas is a time to fondle the new life for cousins and aunts since I'm vetoing hospital visits (I don't like hospitals and I don't think I'm going to need the *extra* stress of visitations by people I barely know in a place I have no love of).
However, next week is my birthday, and no one at all has asked me what I have planned. Granted, I have no plans, but that's not the point. I'm turning 30. Last I checked, that was considered a significant birthday, but the parasite (along with the Great Consumeristic-Masquerading-As-Fellowship-And-Family Holiday) has eclipsed everything else.
It's like everyone's saying "Who cares about you. What about the baby?" and it's not very nice to feel like nothing more than an uncaring, unfeeling automaton; a vessel for life to be discarded once that life finally emerges.
I'm probably blowing this entirely out of proportion, but there it is.
But this is different.
Family is starting to make Christmas plans (it's still seven weeks away), and on account of the baby, they want to get the most bang for their buck. I understand that. I really do. Christmas is a time to fondle the new life for cousins and aunts since I'm vetoing hospital visits (I don't like hospitals and I don't think I'm going to need the *extra* stress of visitations by people I barely know in a place I have no love of).
However, next week is my birthday, and no one at all has asked me what I have planned. Granted, I have no plans, but that's not the point. I'm turning 30. Last I checked, that was considered a significant birthday, but the parasite (along with the Great Consumeristic-Masquerading-As-Fellowship-And-Family Holiday) has eclipsed everything else.
It's like everyone's saying "Who cares about you. What about the baby?" and it's not very nice to feel like nothing more than an uncaring, unfeeling automaton; a vessel for life to be discarded once that life finally emerges.
I'm probably blowing this entirely out of proportion, but there it is.
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no subject
Date: 2004-11-06 03:15 pm (UTC)I've been so far assuming that you'll be wanting something low-key, just because I imagine that being very nearly 9 mo. preggers isn't the most physically comfortable place to be. But you know I'm up for whatever it is you have in mind. :)
no subject
Date: 2004-11-06 07:05 pm (UTC)I know I didn't make the distinction, but I was referring more to family than friends over the whole plans thing. I don't know why it bothers me so much, but it feels like a great big lot of stinging nettles instead of just the one thorn.
If I come up with something, it will be for the Friday night instead of my actual birthday (Saturday), since
saturday night
Date: 2004-11-08 08:54 am (UTC)maybe we could do a girl's night with
Re: saturday night
Date: 2004-11-08 03:54 pm (UTC)*swoon*
Date: 2004-11-09 04:33 am (UTC)Re: *swoon*
Date: 2004-11-09 08:04 am (UTC)mmmm
Date: 2004-11-09 08:06 am (UTC)sex on a stick, i tell ya