(no subject)

[valkryor]

Feeling oddly melancholic tonight. Maybe not so much oddly, honestly. I'm missing my social life. I didn't have much of one, and most of it consists of killing things and taking their stuff, but it's mine, and I don't get to have it anymore because people fucking suck. I'm also bummed that my kid has virtual/distance school for the next two weeks.

We don't have a big place, and my kid has a big personality, and it's hard.

Yes, I know it's hard all over and yes, I know that people are struggling, but what I'm feeling is valid so...yeah.

I miss my friends, and I miss my beau, and I miss having a set amount of time alone every week. On the one hand, lockdown is great for introverts (a reason to not go outside and deal with people! Hurray!), and on the other, it only works when introverts get time to recharge. And I don't get nearly enough time to recharge. I feel like I've been running on fumes for far longer than the manufacture recommendations.

Tonight, I think I'm going to finish Network Effect by Martha Wells, the latest in the Murderbot Diaries. Murderbot is the antihero for these fucked up times, although it would probably try to convince you otherwise.

Comments

[clawfoot]

Gods, I miss gaming in person. Roll20 is better than no gaming at all, but I am ACHING to see my friends again.

It doesn't help that the voice chat lag makes it SO EASY to interrupt/talk over each other. That was really irritating me last game (neither of you specifically of course; just the constant start-stop-talk-silence-start-stop-talk of us all trying to be polite and NOT talk over each other which just ended up with us talking over each other anyway. AGH. SO INFURIATING.

[valkryor]

Part of the problem I have with the voice chat is the lack of social cues. Sure, you can get SOME of them from voice, but I miss those visual ones. Mostly I missing seeing faces that aren't the other two I see all the time (I love those faces, but I am also sick of them).

I keep reminding myself that I am in that space that feels like the old one and isn't the newer, better one yet, AND THAT WILL HAPPEN I JUST NEED TO BE PATIENT. It's hard, yo.

[clawfoot]

I wonder, if for the non-combat pieces of game, trying video chat might be helpful? It's not the same as actual, in-person chatting, but we might at least get a tiny bit more of the body language/non-verbal cues from each other.

[valkryor]

It helps a little, but I have found that the lag is still a problem. A little less, but on every vid call with my sister and her husband, there's still that talking-over-each-other and 'go ahead' going on.

[cinnamaldehyde]

*belated hugs offered*

[valkryor]

*belated hugs taken*