Brain currently booting in Safe Mode

More things:

At the end of February, I had a doctor's appointment (mostly to meet my new doctor as well as get a necessary follow-up ultrasound that was supposed to happen in January). On the way to catch my bus (that I missed), I slipped on some black ice. I thought I had only wrenched it a little, walked to another bus stop (different route) about ten minutes away, caught my transfer, then had to walk from that stop to the office down hill where the footing was not great.

At the end of March, I discovered that I did not simply "wrench my knee a little", but actually twisted it. My chiropractor set everything back to rights and it's been slowly healing. I've already been through this particular song-and-dance, so I know that it will be months before it's back to something resembling normal. Sweet Baby Christ in a minivan, if I could go back in time to counsel my younger self, I would tell her to take care of her knees, 'cause this? This is some bullshit.

Sheldon had a bit of downturn with lots of diarrhea multiple times a day. Not only was it super gross and hella stinky, it was also worrying. So I called the vet, got him in on Tuesday. She didn't like the feel of Sheldon's intestines, calling them "ropy" and suggested an ultrasound. They do it in-house, with a tech coming in soon. As it turned out, "soon" meant Wednesday or Thursday. We also got some medication to help with the runny poops.

I made arrangements to get him in on Wednesday, as I could fit it in after taking my kid to his orthodontic appointment. I also had to dose him with gabapentin two hours before bringing him in. That was both comical and/or horrifying to watch this elderly cat try to do anything while under the influence.

The vet is fairly certain that Sheldon has something called triaditis, which is three organs all acting up at the same time, those being the pancreas (pancreatitis), the small intestines (inflammatory bowels), and the liver (cholangiohepatitis). The only way to determine if it's something more sinister is with a biopsy, and putting a very ill, seventeen-year old cat under anesthesia really does NOT sit well with me. We're going to be giving him steroids, which is the best treatment option at this point.

We continue to be under an eviction notice and are now waiting for the new hearing date (we're trying to get all of us represented by one hearing instead of multiple ones for practically the same paperwork). Not gonna lie, this is more bullshit.

I have been looking for, and failing at, finding work. While I am unsurprised, given my fifteen year job gap, it still blows chunks.

Even with all of this uncertainty, life continues to happen. We even splashed out on a new mattress and box spring because we are over waking up sore and did not do so last year. (Our current mattress and box spring were bought last century and do not owe us a damn thing at this point.)

Happy Birthday to me!

I am now officially older than my father was when he died. Yeah, odd milestone, but it certainly feels more personal than, say, a decade marker like 40 or 50. A few years ago, we were getting lunch at a Wimpy's Diner before heading to Toronto for Christmas and I spied an old advertisement on the wall that dredged a memory of my dad up from the depths of my brainmeats, so I sent it to my sister to see if she also remembered and she did!

My dad used to roll his own cigarettes. Not using a pinch of tobacco and papers, but a machine. I can't remember what it looked like now, but I have, in my head, an image of something akin to the old credit card imprinters. I can see him sitting at the kitchen table, newspapers laid out to keep the excess tobacco somewhat corralled. Anyway. Weird memory to have crop up.

Here's the ad that brought that up to the surface:

+~+~+

I have finished my first week of work. It was...work, but I did it and am going to have to adjust to the tiredness that comes with it. (I am still very proud of myself for getting outside and working, even if it was only 8 hours over two days.) On my first day, waiting for the bus home, I got to use my new emergency hat because it was too cold and windy to be standing still. I found the UGLIEST yarn while out thrifting for overalls for Declan's Hallowe'en costume. Then I googled hat patterns and found one I really liked the look of. It's ugly and cozy and I LOVE IT.



(Pictures don't do it justice. It's more vibrant in person.)

+~+~+

Yesterday, we all had a spot of very successful errand running! First up were flu shots for the lot of us. This year, we went to an independent pharmacy and it was quicker than it is at a chain.

While we were waiting the 15 minutes, we wandered through the dollar store and found gloves for the boy. His mitts died an ignoble death last year and he needed something new. I asked him if he wants a string (idiot strings are the best way to keep kids from constantly losing mittens and gloves, because that can get expensive and fast); he declined. Well, at least they weren't THAT expensive.

The longest errand we ran was buying winter boots for the boy. He has adult sized feet and sensory issues, so it makes it challenging. As a woman with hard-to-fit feet, I completely get it. BUT, after much gnashing of teeth and beating of breast, we found a pair that are a good size, didn't cost a gajillion dollars, and should do for the year. Added bonus? Not having to deal with the craziness that will be today (the store was pretty quiet when we went). The weather is turning and that reminds parents that they need winter gear for their kiddos.

It was dark when we came home, but the sky was FANTASTIC. This is the best shot I got from my cellphone:

+~+~+

I haven't been reading much lately. I'm still editing my book, and I was thinking that writing is taking enough energy that I don't have much to spare to create new worlds from the words of others. While that does impact on the time I have to read, it doesn't really explain why I have been buying books and not reading them. Maybe things will settle out in a week or so when I get myself used to working for someone else again. Maybe.

Or maybe I should start reading something today, because it's mah birfday.

Paul is now officially working from home. He got his kit last week, which consisted of the same set up as his workstation in the office. He was expecting a laptop, but no: two all-in-one desktops, mouse, keyboard, workstation hub. That necessitated some thinking. And some rearranging. And some buying. So, about $100 (cable, moveable 'workstation' - aka a kitchen cart at a steep discount) and a lot of frustration later, here we are.

In some ways, this is good. I am forced to get out of bed, showered and dressed before he starts his shift at 10am. Before, I was getting into the shower at noon or 1pm, getting up at 9 or 10, and staying up WAY past my bedtime. So, I was ostensibly getting enough sleep, but I wasn't getting it at the right time and it was really fucking up my circadian rhythm and doubling down on my depression. My medication is already working overtime as it is; I don't need to make it worse.

(I was up too late last night, but I was part of the Bad Decisions Book Club. We don't meet or hang out, we just want to read One More Page. I started and finished Paladin's Grace by T. Kingfisher yesterday. So. Good. The hero is a paladin of a dead god who knits socks to keep his depressive thoughts from being intrusive and the heroine is a perfumer who has had kind of a shitty life but doesn't stop moving forward, however she can. They are awkward and adorable together. And the secondary characters are fantastic. I adore Bishop Beartongue, head of the Temple of the White Rat. She reminds me strongly of Granny Weatherwax, which is never a bad thing, in my not-so-humble opinion. I laughed out loud at a couple of points and now I want to read the other three books set in the same universe.)

Today, I have already started some laundry, and plan on making a pie. I want to do things at the moment, so I'm going to capitalize on that for as long as I can. :)

Aside from some housework that needs doing, I'm not doing much else today. Last weekend and the ones coming up are going to be a whirlwind of activity, and with going back to work on Tuesday, it'll be good to have a day to just putter around the house and not go anywhere or see anybody.

Speaking of doing not much today, I should go and watch me some Saturday morning cartoons. :)

I still haven't found gainful employ. Damn. I can only give it one more week, though, because my bills won't pay themselves. The Evil Cable Company doesn't want me. Nobody else seems to want me. And I can't take four months to find work (it happened once, which is why I ended up counting other people's shit and wishing I was dead instead of on the road to OFS yet again). My choices are, unfortunately, very very limited. So, I'm left with this, it seems...get something else by the end of next week or it's back to the Hell that Goes Up.

I really really don't want to go back. But it looks like I won't have any other option.

I actually got some stuff done today. I updated my resumé and applied for no less than seven jobs (!). I hate hate hate cover letters, though. They're little more than contrived pieces of tripe. But I wrote one. Only because it was required. Here's hoping, at least. Working at KWAG would be better than back to the Hell that Goes Up.

I also am doing something a little different this time around. I'm actually keeping track (in a separate notebook) of all the jobs I apply to and any relevant information like hours mentioned or name of contact or position applied to. You'd have thought I would have done this sooner, but no. In this case, I am a very slow learner. :P

Oh, and on top of feeling accomplished, I can wear sandals again! That bruise (or whatever it was causing me pain) is finally dimished enough that it no longer bothers me to have pressure put on that one spot just above and to the left of the ankle bone on my right foot. w00t! No more socks for me until it gets cold again. :)

I found out today that the little white house had been sold. I don't know why, but I had already fallen in love with it and now I'm really saddened that it had been sold to someone else. It's also become apparent that we'll be in this pokey flat for another five years at least while we pay down debts and try to cobble together a down payment.

I don't know if I can do it. I'm so tired of living like a student when I've had my degree for almost five years now.

Now it's looking like I'll have to go back to work sooner than expected, just so we have a bit more money coming in. But that won't be easy, because I'll have to work days (8-4, Tues-Wed off if I go back to Hell) and with fuzzpsych working afternoons/nights, we won't have to pay for a babysitter.

I'm not ready to go back. I don't want to go back to Arvato. But the number of options has dwindled and if I want to move into a house of my own, I have to do something about it.

I haven't been at work since 2004 Nov 01 and I'm still being asked to assume the position. My ability to do things on the weekend is completely dependent on my husband's work schedule. The latest shift bid, in which he would have Fridays and Saturdays off, has been replaced with another in which that shift does not exist.

There's going to be another bid in May when more staff is hired to the department. So the possibility exists that he could get weekends (or even Fridays and Saturdays) off. After two months of thinking I was going back to the LARP and having it taken away from me by circumstances outside of my control, I give up. I'm not going back. I can't expect to go back to the game when I *know* how shift bids work.

Fuck.

This is it, my first official day of MatLeave (last week was vacation time). It even snowed and everything, although I slept through it. Birthday first, then baby, I'm thinking, but that could change in an instant. Now I should really check into applying for EI benefits online...