(no subject)

[valkryor]

I was woken up last night after only being asleep for about half an hour by fuzzpsych swapping his pocket stuff from his pants to his shorts. He said he was going out with meowster (suffering from insomnia) for a little while.

I know that it was good for both meowster and fuzzpsych (and after nearly two months of living in each other's pockets, both of us need some private downtime), but I felt like I'm not worth being around.

It's very true that I would have been sleeping while my husband was restless and wakeful and probably pacing the apartment (if not using the computer), but I would have slept a little better if he was home.

Done is done. I can't change that. The feeling, though, won't go away.

Comments

[joncanuck]

*HUGS*

That's the problem when you change gears though, you've been, as you say, "living in each other's pockets" for so long that when you do get some time alone it's much more jarring then it would have been before.

And given everything you've gone through, having conflicting emotions is understandable.

*HUGS*

And for the record, you are fun to spend time with. And we all look forward to our next chance to hang out with you :)

*hugs*

[meowster.livejournal.com]

i feel extremely bad that you feel this way :o(

believe me, you are definitely worthwhile to be around. in fact, i was going to ask you if you wanted to go out for tea this week sometime. no pressure though - take care of what you need first ok? let me know if you're interested.

i'm so sorry about last night, V

[epi-lj.livejournal.com]

I've always found you fun company. :) But yeah, in general I think that it's going to be a while before the regular pattern of life starts to feel "normal" again, and at times that may offer some strange challenges.

[iamjw.livejournal.com]

FWIW, I've only been in your company twice, but I've enjoyed both times.

*hugs* offered.

[clawfoot.livejournal.com]

I hope that, at least intellectually, you know that him going out for coffee was as much of a statement about his opinion of your worth as a companion as you coming to game last month was a statement about your opinion of HIS worth as a companion.

I hope that made sense. I'm a bit spacey right now. I'm not entirely sure that's going to make sense to anyone but me and my addled brain.

But yeah, even if you do understand it intellectually, there often seems to be some sort of communication breakdown between "head" and "heart."

And as joncanuck said, it's not surprising that the shift from "being in each other's pockets and being almost the sole support for each other for a very long time" to "home and recovering and finding our normal space again" will be a bit jarring.