(no subject)

[valkryor]

I was too apathetic to even post yesterday. My day consisted of going to a job interview that I didn't want to go to, having a bit of breakdown on the short walk back to the bus stop, considering posting the entire experience to LJ but just didn't care enough to do so (didn't look for work for the same reason), changing my clothes before crawling back into bed for a while, made dinner, finally had the dam burst on my sadness, then stayed up way past my bedtime chatting with a friend state-side.

I needed the chat more than I would have thought. As much as I love you all, it was nice having someone who knew what had happened but could keep objective about it (probably because we've never met in real life and probably never will).

I'm still feeling melancholy, but not as apathetic, which, as strange as this sounds, is a good trade. The only real worry now is not letting this turn into a crippling bout of self-loathing because of my shape/size. It's started to creep in yesterday, but I have to do my best to boot it out the door today.

Comments

[iamjw.livejournal.com]

Trading melancholy for apathy strikes me as a very good trade, as these things go.

*hugs*

[valkryor.livejournal.com]

At least with melancholy, I can mostly function. With apathy, function just doesn't exist. Getting through my day-to-day stuff is necessary, but yesterday I just didn't care.